Christopher Nolan Nukes UCLA For 5-Second “Oppenheimer” Shot
WESTWOOD — In what has now become a mass-casualty event, Christopher Nolan has nuked the UCLA campus for a 5-second B-reel scene in his new […]
Celebrities
EXPOSED: Queen Elizabeth Is A Nepotism Baby
LONDON — Sources revealed early Tuesday morning that Queen Elizabeth II is a product of nepotism. “I looked her up on Wikipedia and her parents’ […]
HBO Announces Euphoria Prequel Set In Preschool
LOS ANGELES — Soon after receiving record-high ratings for its second season, Euphoria show-runner Sam Levinson announced a prequel show set in preschool. “We’re really […]
The Girl Boss’s Guide To Discussing Inception Without Ever Watching It
Ready for a movie that you’ll like as much as you hate condoms? Christopher Nolan’s cinematic masterpiece is beloved by film bros everywhere, and soon […]
Rihanna Teases Lullaby Album She Will Release On Baby’s Sixth Birthday
NEW YORK — Rihanna announced her pregnancy with ASAP Rocky this week, as well as plans for a lullaby album, though the release date is […]
Tom Brady Taking Gap Year
TAMPA — After 22 years in the NFL, veteran quarterback Tom Brady has announced that he will be leaving the game of football. “I don’t […]
2,022 Things To Look Forward To In 2022
2021 has wrapped up and we are now in a new year. Change can be scary, so here is a list of 2,022 things that […]
Nicki Minaj Fan Disillusioned Upon Learning Starship Delivery Bots Not Meant To Fly
WESTWOOD — Tears could be heard after avid Nicki Minaj fan Barbz “Bang Bang” Bass kicked a delivery bot down Tongva steps only to realize […]
Heartwarming! This Man Wakes Up Every Morning And Finds Out He’s President
WASHINGTON, DC — In what can only be described as a heartwarming break from the nation’s political drama, sources confirmed Monday that every morning Joe […]
5’8” Men Now Listing “One Tom Holland” As Height On Tinder
LOS ANGELES — Following the release of “Spiderman: No Way Home,” data scientists at Tinder report that men who are 5’8” are now changing their […]