Christopher Nolan Nukes UCLA For 5-Second “Oppenheimer” Shot

WESTWOOD — In what has now become a mass-casualty event, Christopher Nolan has nuked the UCLA campus for a 5-second B-reel scene in his new biopic about J. Robert Oppenheimer. “I want this film to be as authentic as possible,” said Nolan, who dropped a 15 kiloton atomic bomb on Kerckhoff Hall. “Hollywood and cancel culture will try their best to make me feel bad about this, but I think it’s about damn time for cinema to stop cutting corners. I’m so sick and tired of all these lazy half-ass Marvel movies doing everything in front of a green screen.” At press time, Nolan was seen invading Poland for a flashback cut-scene.

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Hobby satirist turned published comedy extraordinaire.