New UCLA Policy Moves “Free Speech Zone” To Middle Of The 405
WESTWOOD — After the wave of pro-Palestine protests that swept campus last year, Interim Chancellor Darnell Hunt has announced a new policy that limits protests […]
News
OPINION: Lol Did You Hear The News? This Is Crazy. Anyways Wyd Tonite? ;)
Hey I know this is super random lol but did you hear about Biden stepping down? It’s so crazy this is all happening. I really […]
Paul Blart’s Brutal Body Cam Footage Finally Declassified
WASHINGTON, D.C. — On Friday, the United States Department of Justice finally declassified Paul Blart’s body cam footage following years of litigation. “Our buddy Paul […]
Opinion: Dear Covel Pianists, La La Land Won’t Heal Your Heartache
I get it. It’s the score of dreamers. If a flash mob were to break out in Ackerman, we could all imitate the choreography of […]
National Coalition Of Male Feminists To Start “Bitch Respecting” Initiative
WASHINGTON, D.C. — On Thursday morning, the National Coalition of Male Feminists announced its new “Bitch Respecting” initiative. “As male feminists, it’s not our place […]
Alabamian Initiates Dorm Floorcest Movement In The Name Of Culture
WESTWOOD — First-year Alabamian and psychology major Cous N. Louver has sparked controversy for introducing a new trend among his peers: floorcest. “My entangled family […]
TAs Replaced! Cops With Funky Bicycles To Lead Sections From Now On
WESTWOOD — Following the recent authorization of the UAW strike, Chancellor Gene Block has made the executive decision to replace all TAs with the Campus […]
Gazing Upon Your Reflection In Pauley Pavilion And 4 Other Signs You May Be A Narcissist
Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? You, of course! If you see yourself in 3 or more of these signs, […]