
LONDON — Sources revealed early Tuesday morning that Queen Elizabeth II is a product of nepotism. “I looked her up on Wikipedia and her parents’ names are blue and underlined,” said third-year Gina Thompson, who was accepted to UCLA after her parents paid for six years of SAT tutoring and also a building. “All this time, she’s been piggybacking off of her dad’s work as king. She didn’t even colonize those countries herself!” At press time, the Enabler was following leads which suggest that Jesus Christ may also be a nepotism baby.