With the death of Pope Francis, the first “woke pope,” the cardinals will soon enter conclave to pick the newest pontifex. I liked Pope Francis. […]
Well, it’s official: President Trump has signed an executive order cutting funding to PBS. And thank the canonically white God, because the hit kids’ show […]
WESTWOOD — This morning, fourth-year American literature and culture major Emily Yonicson humiliated herself and her family as she clapped, not snapped, at a local […]
WESTWOOD — After attempting to participate in the LGBTQ Campus Resource Center’s event for Lesbian Visibility Week, one lesbian was deeply disappointed by the center’s […]
WESTWOOD — Last Thursday, one student’s weekly evening “sensitive young man” walk tragically got interrupted by a campus tour guide. “I was pacing around the […]
WESTWOOD — After a grueling investigation that involved bugging meeting rooms, undercover operations, and wiretapping, the Daily Bruin has made headline news announcing that they […]
LOS ANGELES — Disaster struck this morning as the LAPD discovered that their new sketch artist was only able to draw hyperrealistic eyes. “I started […]
WESTWOOD — After three years of listening to his roommate exclusively play “Wonderwall” by Oasis, one man has confirmed that the aspiring acoustic guitarist was […]
5. John Wooden It’s no surprise that a man whose first and last names both mean penis is coming in hot on this list. John […]
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