Worst Person You Know Not Muted on Zoom
WESTWOOD — At approximately 9:45 this morning, the worst person you know failed to mute himself in the Zoom meeting for your lecture. “MOM DO […]
Campus
CCLE Wishes To Become A Real Website
WESTWOOD — After yet another day of letting down students and professors alike, CCLE wished upon a shooting star to become a real website just […]
Respectful Fourth-Year Only Dates First-Years 18 Or Older
WESTWOOD — According to a source close to him, fourth-year biology major Josh Winfrey has chosen to respect the women at UCLA and only date […]
Roommate Going To Finish Bananas This Time
WESTWOOD — After returning from Ralphs today at 12:30 p.m. PST, your roommate assured you that he is definitely going to finish the bananas he […]
Senior Who Taught You How To Do Line Admitted To Law School
WESTWOOD — Westley Frump, the senior who gave you your first line of cocaine in the bathroom of a house party, has reportedly been admitted […]
Syllabus Very Clear About How Much Studying, Kegels Required To Get “A”
WESTWOOD — In response to unexpectedly low scores on his Program in Computing 10A midterm, Professor Mikhael Gronkson impatiently reminded students that if they had […]
Local Huskies Speak Out Against Husky Guy: “We Don’t Know Him”
WESTWOOD — Students passing through Bruin Plaza Tuesday afternoon were met with an impromptu press conference held by a group of local huskies in an […]
Dungeons And Dragons Game Disbanded For Problematic Focus On Race And Class
WESTWOOD — The UCLA Office of Equity, Diversity & Inclusion has officially shut down roleplaying club Bodacious Bards’ newest Dungeons and Dragons campaign after students […]
Students Disturbed That North Campus Sculpture Not Naked
WESTWOOD — Following the reveal of the latest addition to the North Campus sculpture garden, many students expressed how disturbing it was that the sculpture […]
Royce Hall Introduces Night Royce
WESTWOOD — In an unprecedented move of unclear motive, UCLA officials announced that Royce Hall will be opening its doors to students during the wee […]