
Increasingly Desperate Clubs Begin Selling Organs On Bruinwalk
WESTWOOD — After a decline in sales of Porto’s Bakery rolls and Krispy Kreme donuts, increasingly desperate clubs have begun selling their own organs on […]
WESTWOOD — After a decline in sales of Porto’s Bakery rolls and Krispy Kreme donuts, increasingly desperate clubs have begun selling their own organs on […]
WESTWOOD — This winter, the hit Christian animated show Veggie Tales will be filming its season premiere at B-Plate. “We scouted everywhere in Hollywood for […]
INDIO — Early Thursday morning, organizers of the famed “They’re Alive?” festival excitedly announced their two headliners: Paul McCartney and Bob Dylan. “No, it was […]
Movies. They’ve been around for over 100 years and have given us universally lauded classics like “The Godfather,” “Parasite,” and “Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over.” […]
BAKERSFIELD, CA — On Wednesday, serial murderer Anabel Pane, labeled the ‘Banana Peel Killer’ on social media due to her unconventional, cartoonish methods, received an […]
Its finals weak. I have to right tree different essays butt oh no I’m bad at spelling! I’m not gonna use spellcheck because the machine’s […]
WESTWOOD – It’s 3:30, and I just got out of class to go to Kerckhoff Coffeehouse. It’s been a long day and I need my […]
ANYTOWN, USA – After getting his 7th concussion from failing to kick the football, Charlie Brown has been diagnosed with chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE). “Wah […]
I arrived at UCLA like many first-years: bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and convinced that my four years at college would be just as magical as the six […]
WESTWOOD – After running out of past to study, the history department has announced that students can now declare a concentration in “future.” “We are […]
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