Coachella Wristband Reveals God Amongst Men
WESTWOOD — Last Monday evening, three wise men knocked on the door of Beta Theta Pi to share with third-year business economics student Jack Wagner, who […]
A&E
New Clothing Brand “Supremer” To Cater To Hyperbeasts
FAIRFAX DISTRICT — Last weekend, hundreds of self-proclaimed not hypebeasts, but “Hyper-Beasts,” lined up by a Melrose storefront in anticipation of new clothing brand “Supremer,” unaffiliated […]
Barney’s Beanery Begins Weekly Mahjong Night
WESTWOOD — Citing the success of recurring weekly events like “Karaoke Night” and “Trivia Night,” the management of Barney’s Beanery announced last Monday that the […]
Punk Band Totally Fine With No One Showing Up to Their Show. No Really, They Are.
WESTWOOD – Following a local house show this weekend, punk rock band Anarchist Tendencies denied feeling heartbroken despite the fact that no one showed up […]
J.K. Rowling Announces on Twitter that John Wooden is Gay
WESTWOOD – Beloved fantasy author J.K. Rowling turned to Twitter this morning to announce that deceased UCLA basketball coach John Wooden is gay. “I’m so […]
UCLA Student Not Photographer But Does Have iPhone With Portrait Mode
WESTWOOD — Recent reports from the “UCLA Free & For Sale” Facebook page have indicated that third-year student Liz Samuels did not consider herself a photographer […]
UCLA Radio Rejections Spur Return Of Doc Martens
WESTWOOD — Following UCLA Radio’s record low admission rate into their intern program three weeks ago, the Doc Martens company experienced a record high surge in […]
Taylor Swift to Start New, Flirtier Political Party
NASHVILLE, TN — In response to backlash regarding her recent endorsement for the Democratic party, Taylor Swift has released a statement regarding her plans to start […]
Mom Watches Every “The Rock” Film for the Plot
WESTWOOD — Carla Batoots, proud mother of five, has recently caught the attention of film critics nationwide for her staunch defense of every movie starring […]
Bill Cosby Nominated To Supreme Court
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a press briefing this morning from Washington, President Donald Trump announced his nomination of popular comedian and actor Bill Cosby to […]