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A&E

Hottest Spot For Grad Photos Is Sidewalk Pit Outside Of CVS

May 18, 2022 Gabby Bromberg 0

WESTWOOD — UCLA seniors are taking their grad photos at the hottest spot in town: the sidewalk pit outside of CVS. “In some ways, it’s […]

New Season Of “How It’s Made” Features Episode On Babies

April 30, 2022 Amariyah Lane-Volz 0

MONTREAL — Producers behind the television show “How It’s Made” recently announced that the upcoming season will feature an episode about babies. “The process begins […]

Andre To Perform At Coachella

April 22, 2022 Angel Coronado 0

INDIO, CA — In an unprecedented announcement, Andre has announced via his Instagram page (@larger_thanlife_3) that he will be performing at the Coachella Valley Music […]

“&$@!,” And Four Other Things You Really Shouldn’t Say

April 16, 2022 Robi Chatterjee 0

DO NOT SAY THE FOLLOWING. This is obviously a very crude word, why else would we censor it with random symbols? A$$ is a no-no […]

“Intersectionality,” And Other Buzzwords You Can Use To Justify Buying From Amazon

March 5, 2022 Jade Lacy 0

We all know how it goes. You run out of masks or printer ink or clean underwear, and you need more ASAP. There’s only one […]

Heartwarming! Virgins Across Nation Come Together Each Day To Guess Five Letter Word

January 21, 2022 Hanna Barlow 0

U.S.A. — Thanks to the latest online craze, Wordle, virgins from coast to coast are bonding over the exciting opportunity to guess a new five-letter […]

Report: Your Neighbor Only Practices Trombone Because He Hates You

January 18, 2022 Gillian Smith 0

WESTWOOD — After careful consideration of the evidence, we’re certain that your neighbor- the one saved in your phone as “Angus from Apartment 216”- only […]

2,022 Things To Look Forward To In 2022

January 7, 2022 Robi Chatterjee 0

2021 has wrapped up and we are now in a new year. Change can be scary, so here is a list of 2,022 things that […]

Abstract Painting Not All That Impressed By You Either

January 3, 2022 Brandon Wang 0

LOS ANGELES — Sources told the Enabler Tuesday that the abstract painting you saw wasn’t all that impressed by you either. “Yeah, my four-year-old could […]

Nicki Minaj Fan Disillusioned Upon Learning Starship Delivery Bots Not Meant To Fly

December 31, 2021 Robi Chatterjee 0

WESTWOOD — Tears could be heard after avid Nicki Minaj fan Barbz “Bang Bang” Bass kicked a delivery bot down Tongva steps only to realize […]

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