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International

Opinion: I Listened To The Daily Once, And Now I Am Omniscient

June 7, 2023 Eric Rousso 0

Greetings, lesser one. It is I, your neighbor in POLSCI 30, here to inform you of my recent endeavors in the political sphere. Last night, […]

Move Over Fjallraven! This Season’s Hottest Accessory Is A Handkerchief Tied To A Stick

May 15, 2023 Elena Whitlock 0

PARIS, FRANCE — Paris’ top trend-watchers have announced that everyone’s favorite Swedish backpack is OUT, and a red handkerchief tied to a long crooked branch […]

You Went To Cabo, And We Can Tell

April 5, 2023 Ava Abrishamchian 0

Awkward: Tensions Rise Between These Two Neighboring Countries

March 20, 2023 Sophia Balkovski 0

Opinion: Being Uncircumcised Is Bohemian

March 17, 2023 Ella Cash 0

When I received my acceptance letter from UCLA, I was ecstatic to move to Los Angeles, the land of fruits and nuts. Unfortunately, I have […]

CAPS Experiencing Unprecedented Surge Amid Egg Shortage

January 25, 2023 Sam Haines 0

WESTWOOD — The national egg shortage has left droves of Bruins without a key ingredient not only of their breakfast but of their self care. “We […]

“Say It Ain’t Saur:” Weezer Embarks On Australian Tour

January 18, 2023 Gillian Smith 0

SYDNEY — The American rock band Weezer has just announced their upcoming tour, titled “Say It Ain’t Saur: Australiaur 2023.” “We’ve translated all of our […]

Prince Harry Apologizes For Accidentally Publishing Dream Diary

January 13, 2023 Dana Badii 0

SANTA BARBARA — Prince Harry held a press conference outside of his estate this morning to clarify his remarks in his new memoir, “Spare.” “I […]

Gene Block Drops Out Of Race For Prime Minister

October 25, 2022 Bella Dunham 0

10 GAYLEY ST — UCLA Chancellor Gene Block announced Tuesday that he will be withdrawing himself from consideration as leader of the Labour Party and […]

England Collapses, Becomes East Wales

October 20, 2022 Gillian Smith 0

EAST WALES, BRITAIN— Following the recent death, resignation, or otherwise incapacitation of several of England’s most influential old white conservatives, the former global power has […]

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