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National

Top 5 Places To Get An Abortion When Your Human Rights Are Treated Like A Luxury

May 3, 2022 Tatiana Davidson 0

Following recent news that the Supreme Court will likely overturn Roe v. Wade, we have curated a list of five places to get an abortion […]

Report: Judge Who Struck Down Mask Mandate Has A Great Smile

April 26, 2022 Jade Lacy 0

TAMPA — Reporters on the scene at Florida’s Middle District Federal court, where Judge Kathryn Kimball Mizelle recently struck down the mask mandate for public […]

Rowing Team Wins Diversity Award, As Many As Two Minorities Represented

February 14, 2022 Gabby Bromberg 0

ORANGE COUNTY, CA — A local rowing club took home the top prize in USRowing’s diversity awards this week in recognition of their melting pot […]

Heartwarming! This Man Wakes Up Every Morning And Finds Out He’s President

December 23, 2021 Brandon Wang 0

WASHINGTON, DC — In what can only be described as a heartwarming break from the nation’s political drama, sources confirmed Monday that every morning Joe […]

Congress Declares Nuclear War On Climate Change

December 20, 2021 Brandon Wang 0

WASHINGTON — In an unprecedented bipartisan move, both the Senate and the House of Representatives unanimously voted Wednesday in favor of declaring nuclear war against […]

A grizzled detective with a beige coat, magnifying glass, mustache, and brown fedora appears against a white background, looking for his next clue. Behind him is his wife, a beautiful black woman with a white shirt and hoop earrings, whose smile could light up a room.

Grizzled Detective Still Waiting for Wife to Be Murdered

December 11, 2021 Dylan Wood 0

NEW YORK CITY — Veteran homicide detective Rick Gruff expressed concerns Sunday that his wife of twenty years is still alive and well. “I’ve made […]

Kyrsten Sinema And Mitt Romney Get To Second Base On Senate Floor

November 3, 2021 Melissa Beining 0

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sens. Sinema and Romney engaged in a bout of heavy petting and excessive tonguing on the Chamber floor after working together to […]

Weapons Of Mass Destruction Mourn Passing Of Colin Powell: “He Always Believed In Us, Even When No One Else Did”

October 18, 2021 Dylan Wood 0

CLOUD CUCKOO LAND — In a statement released this morning out of the realm of imagination, Saddam Hussein’s Weapons of Mass Destruction mourned the death […]

CDC: Fully Vaccinated People Can Smoke Cigarettes They Find On Ground

May 19, 2021 Jade Lacy 0

ATLANTA — On Wednesday evening, the Centers for Disease Control announced a change in their guidelines for fully vaccinated Americans, allowing them to take one […]

Life In America Returning To Normal

March 25, 2021 Dylan Wood 0

BOULDER, CO — With the nation still reeling from the Coronavirus pandemic, Americans have been able to see signs of normalcy returning following the country’s […]

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