Second Year Learns To Do Laundry
WESTWOOD — Rieber Hall residents can now breathe a sigh of relief as second-year resident Emmet Turring (no relation) has finally learned to do his […]
Articles by Robi Chatterjee
Spotify Wrapped 2022 Just Spotify Wrapped 2021 In Slightly Different Order
WESTWOOD — As the year comes to an end, Spotify has once again given each user a personalized playlist consisting of their most listened songs […]
We Gave A Monkey A Typewriter And This Is What We Got:
b bbbb buhbuhbuhbuhuuhh;i;aio;i;al;k’;a aikl;aiodifni;nabn;aeuhfiaeb alltheaorld’sastageandallthemenandwomenmerelyplyers spacebarspacebarspacebarspacebar I found the spacebar. All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have […]
“&$@!,” And Four Other Things You Really Shouldn’t Say
DO NOT SAY THE FOLLOWING. This is obviously a very crude word, why else would we censor it with random symbols? A$$ is a no-no […]
Gone But Not Forgotten… Wait Nevermind, Who Is This?
WESTWOOD — The whole campus came together today to mourn the recent passing of… well, we are not quite clear on that. “It’s hard to […]
“F*ck You!” And 4 Other Mean Things To Say
Nice guys finish last, but take my word for it, being an utterly irredeemable piece of human garbage is difficult. To help you out, the […]
2,022 Things To Look Forward To In 2022
2021 has wrapped up and we are now in a new year. Change can be scary, so here is a list of 2,022 things that […]
Nicki Minaj Fan Disillusioned Upon Learning Starship Delivery Bots Not Meant To Fly
WESTWOOD — Tears could be heard after avid Nicki Minaj fan Barbz “Bang Bang” Bass kicked a delivery bot down Tongva steps only to realize […]
Tasing Yourself In The Hamstring, And Other Bad Study Habits To Get Rid Of Before Finals
Finals are coming up, and there are so many terrible ways to study. To help you become the best version of yourself for finals season, […]
Thanksgiving Dinner Ruined By Grandpa’s Politics, And His Musty Fucking Breath
HOME — Grandpa Max ruined his family’s annual thanksgiving dinner by bringing up his insensitive antiquated politics and by having really smelly breath. “I think […]