Loser Plays As Mario In MarioKart
MUSHROOM KINGDOM— Area dude Brad McIntyre bored gamers everywhere Tuesday when he chose Mario as his racing character in the hit Nintendo game MarioKart. “I […]
Culture
Radical Ally? This Student Just Said “Gracias” Instead of Thank You To A Rende West Worker
WESTWOOD — Second year Business Economics and Psychology double major Kayeighleighy White was celebrated with a round of applause for saying “gracias” to a Rende […]
“Say It Ain’t Saur:” Weezer Embarks On Australian Tour
SYDNEY — The American rock band Weezer has just announced their upcoming tour, titled “Say It Ain’t Saur: Australiaur 2023.” “We’ve translated all of our […]
Opinion: IBS Isn’t Hot Because Diarrhea Is Gross, Actually
Have you heard about how hot girls have IBS? How all the hottest girls are on a low FODMAP diet and can’t look at a […]
Fetishist Senator Gravely Misunderstands U.S.’ Inflation Problem
WASHINGTON, D.C.— The office of Senator Martha Lovelace (R-AR) is scrambling to spin an unfortunate gaffe made in the joint committee on taxation hearings earlier […]
Nerds Take Over Covel Piano
COVEL COMMONS— The hearts, souls, and especially ears of residents of The Hill are being terrorized by the sounds emanating from the Covel Piano. “I […]
The Westwood Enabler’s 2022 Favorites
Inspired by Obama’s list of his 2022 favs, below is a comprehensive list of what us cool people were watching, reading, and listening to this […]
Studies Show That A Hoe Does In Fact Get Cold
WESTWOOD — Leading researchers for UCLA’s Thotical Research Lab have published a groundbreaking report suggesting that a hoe does, in fact, get cold. “It dropped […]
GroupMe Removed From List Of Best Venues For Aspiring Stand-Up Comedians
LOCATION — Collegiate jokesters across the nation were rocked by news that GroupMe has been removed from the L.A. Times’ list of best venues for […]