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Culture

Scientists Discover Why Old People Smell Like That

June 18, 2025 Zach Fischer 0

WESTWOOD — A groundbreaking discovery was made at the UCLA Geriatric Research and Medical Association (GRAMA) this Tuesday, after an extensive study that involved locking […]

Top Five Father’s Day Gifts For A Dad Who Doesn’t Golf Or Grill Or Fish Or Camp Or Mow The Lawn

June 15, 2025 Maggie Kwan 0

Happy Father’s Day! Fortunately for you, your dad isn’t one of those basic losers who actually gets out of the house and does something on […]

Naked guy at the UCLA undie run

Trend Watch: Going Commando At Undie Run

June 11, 2025 Maggie Kwan 0

Enough is enough. Every time the UV level is a 7, everybody and their mother is out getting sunburnt on Janss in a bikini top. […]

Ask The Enabler: Does “Bisexual” Mean You Fuck Twice A Week, Or Once Every Two Weeks?

June 2, 2025 Funny Marcus 0

Here at the Westwood Enabler, the closest thing UCLA has to a bisexual awareness club, we’ve been plagued by the following question: does “bisexual” mean […]

Someone glaring at another person standing in a corner at a party

I Lived It: The Corner I Was Going To Stand In At The Party Got Taken

May 31, 2025 Dana Badii 0

As a Mysterious Fella, it’s important for me to have a nice corner to stand in at parties. There’s really nothing like holding a clammy […]

Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes

May 28, 2025 Gabe McNeill 0

Just the other day, I was walking to campus, my fresh, virgin eyes bright and cheery, excited to see the world and all the glory […]

A white boy and Asian girl standing outside Marugame Udon

White Boy With Asian Girlfriend Too Excited To Celebrate AAPI Month

May 24, 2025 Maggie Kwan 0

WESTWOOD — After making yet another joke about “sucking balls” while ordering boba, first-year Global Studies major Brayden Smith made an Instagram post where he […]

Embarrassing! Student Doesn’t Have Outfit For Victorian French Gothic Hyperpop Themed Fundrager

May 23, 2025 Shayne Sweet 0

WESTWOOD — This weekend, civil engineering freshman James Baeseck was humiliated as he failed to show up in theme to the unsustainable fashion club’s Victorian […]

Opinion: The Ackerman Third Floor Gay Cruising Space Should Be A Designated Cultural Heritage Site

May 20, 2025 Gabe McNeill 0

Dear Julio Frenk, UCLA has been under a lot of controversy lately. The encampments and the mob attack on them, the cops everywhere, deportations, budget […]

Report: Someone Broke Into My Dorm And Left All This Bong Smoke Here

May 19, 2025 Tucker Park 0

WESTWOOD — Unease settled over the Hill last night as UCLA Housing warned of a mysterious break-in which left one student’s dorm filled with a […]

Posts pagination

1 2 … 28 »

  • Someone glaring at another person standing in a corner at a party

    I Lived It: The Corner I Was Going To Stand In At The Party Got Taken

    As a Mysterious Fella, it’s important for me to have a nice corner to stand in at parties. There’s really nothing like holding a clammy […]

  • Report: White Woman Lowkey Doesn’t Mind The Patriarchy

    BEVERLY HILLS— Maddie Rose Miller, a fourth-year Sociology major, CorePower Yoga instructor, and aspiring luxury real estate agent, has recently reported feeling no ill-will towards […]

  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes

    Just the other day, I was walking to campus, my fresh, virgin eyes bright and cheery, excited to see the world and all the glory […]

  • A white boy and Asian girl standing outside Marugame Udon

    White Boy With Asian Girlfriend Too Excited To Celebrate AAPI Month

    WESTWOOD — After making yet another joke about “sucking balls” while ordering boba, first-year Global Studies major Brayden Smith made an Instagram post where he […]

  • Embarrassing! Student Doesn’t Have Outfit For Victorian French Gothic Hyperpop Themed Fundrager

    WESTWOOD — This weekend, civil engineering freshman James Baeseck was humiliated as he failed to show up in theme to the unsustainable fashion club’s Victorian […]

Featured Authors

mm
Gabe McNeill
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
  • Opinion: The Ackerman Third Floor Gay Cruising Space Should Be A Designated Cultural Heritage Site
  • Five Reasons Why I Didn’t Ruin The Vibe By Throwing Up In De Neve
Sam Rusk
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style
  • Time Flies: 2005 Baby Officially Queer Elder

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