WESTWOOD — Tears could be heard after avid Nicki Minaj fan Barbz “Bang Bang” Bass kicked a delivery bot down Tongva steps only to realize that Starships were not meant to fly. “You think you know a person, then suddenly you learn they’ve been deceiving you for nearly a decade!” cried Bass, as they removed Nicki Minaj’s hit song “Starships” from their Spotify library. “The fact that the robot obeys the laws of gravity even when kicked down a flight of stairs shows that Nicki cannot be trusted. I just hope the lies end here.” Bang was later spotted frantically searching for anacondas to see if they wanted any buns.
