
WESTWOOD — Early Monday morning, first-year Philosophy student Alca Pone was seen spending a little too long wistfully staring at a photo dump of a friend starting their summer break in Japan like a prisoner looking at the free world. “Look at them…those bastards all made it out, but I’m still here eating leftover Hilltop Shop buldak in this sunny, never-below-60-degrees hell,” mused Pone, making hooch out of an unflushed communal bathroom toilet. “I just have two weeks left till I’m free. That’s 14 days. Ten days plus 4. Three groups of four days plus two. Jesus Christ.” At press time, Pone was seen tying together T-shirts for an elaborate escape from their second-floor Dykstra triple.