The Girl Boss’s Guide To Discussing Inception Without Ever Watching It

Ready for a movie that you’ll like as much as you hate condoms? Christopher Nolan’s cinematic masterpiece is beloved by film bros everywhere, and soon you will be too with this handy girl boss’s guide to “Inception!”

Film: “Inception” (2010)- note: do NOT say movie, movies are for plebes

Director: Christopher Nolan

Is this one “The Matrix”: Nope! “The Matrix” (1999) is the one with the leather trench coats, red and blue pill, and Keanu Reeves. We won’t elaborate further, and neither should you.

Summary: Leonardo DiCaprio plays a thief who steals corporate secrets from people’s subconscious by entering their dreams, which is super trippy but has fucked up his personal life (dead wife alert!) Leonardo is offered a deal: in exchange for INCEPTING an idea into someone’s subconscious, he can get his criminal record cleared and return home to his kids. He and his team plan a complicated operation involving dreams within dreams, and a whole bunch of crazy stuff happens that you’ll both pretend to remember. In the last scene, Leonardo makes it home to his kids. He spins a top (his dead wife’s totem which spins in dreams and falls IRL) to see if he’s actually awake, but he doesn’t look at the results! You, the viewer, see the top spin spin spin and then WOBBLE but NOT fall.

What he’ll ask you: Do you think Leonardo DiCaprio is still dreaming at the end?

Your answer: “Yes, because the top didn’t actually fall, and like God, Christopher Nolan makes no mistakes (except for “Tenet”).” This will establish that you’re original and witty, and have knowledge of all Nolan’s works. You didn’t like “Tenet” because it pales in comparison to “Inception.”

If he asks about “Dunkirk”: Do not, under any circumstances, mention Harry Styles. You like masculine cinema and gritty depictions of war, NOT One Direction and men wearing nail polish.

What you thought about it: The first hour or so is a little slow, but those last 90 minutes are the most incredible thing you’ve ever seen. The way Nolan plays with timelines and weaves together the layers of the dreams is so trippy, so masterful you could cry. And the ending, OH GOD, YOU LOVE IT! Your mind was totally exploding.

What you think of people who don’t like “Inception”: They just don’t have the capacity to appreciate Nolan’s artistry. Especially if they’re girls.

So don’t check if the top is still spinning, girl boss, because now you’re living the dream! You’ve got everything you need to prove your intellectual worth in a discussion of Inception.

About Gabby Bromberg 22 Articles
After watching Rachel Brosnahan pretending to be a Jewish comedian in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Gabby thought someone should do that for real.