
Report: Daily Symptom Screening Questionnaire Just Asked For Your Cup Size?
WESTWOOD — This morning, while you were filling out the daily symptom screening questionnaire, it asked you for your cup size. “We know it can […]
WESTWOOD — This morning, while you were filling out the daily symptom screening questionnaire, it asked you for your cup size. “We know it can […]
There’s a fine line between witty and worrisome at important events such as the wake of your grandmother, so here are four things not to […]
WESTWOOD — UCLA has once again distinguished itself as a prestigious university following a groundbreaking move by history major Daniel Pelzman, who defied societal expectations […]
2021 has wrapped up and we are now in a new year. Change can be scary, so here is a list of 2,022 things that […]
You really thought you were out of here. How naïve you were, going on your Class Planner, just begging for a spot to open up […]
SEATTLE — As the Omicron variant ravages through the country, top language researchers have noticed a second surge of the word “unprecedented.” “It’s as if […]
WESTWOOD — In a historic first for UCLA, Ackerman Union’s A-Level bathrooms were cleaned on Sunday in anticipation of students not returning to campus. “We […]
LOS ANGELES — Sources told the Enabler Tuesday that the abstract painting you saw wasn’t all that impressed by you either. “Yeah, my four-year-old could […]
WESTWOOD — Tears could be heard after avid Nicki Minaj fan Barbz “Bang Bang” Bass kicked a delivery bot down Tongva steps only to realize […]
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