Woman Who Forgot to Shave for Two Weeks Unintentionally Becomes Feminist Icon
WESTWOOD — Area woman Christine Bigley, who forgot to shave for the past two weeks, unintentionally became a feminist icon and body hair pioneer amongst […]
BruinWear Summer Collection to Include Assless Chaps
WESTWOOD — In response to large demand, UCLA’s BruinWear will be including a pair of UCLA themed assless chaps in their summer collection. “They sell […]
Discovery of “Upload” Button on Soundcloud Transforms Talentless Boy into Professional DJ
LOS ANGELES — In an incredible transformation, the discovery of the upload button on Soundcloud has transformed a talentless Caucasian teenage boy into a professional […]
Freshman Wearing Joy Division Shirt Around Campus Already Getting Laid Like Crazy
WESTWOOD — Incoming first-year Ben Matthews, who has worn his t-shirt of Joy Division’s “Unknown Pleasures” album cover to class an estimated six times already, […]
Apple Announces Plans To Only Play Upbeat Music In Sweatshops
CUPERTINO — This week Apple, in keeping with tradition of ceremonial pomp, held a massive event unveiling their plans to play non-stop pop music for […]
Student At Front Of The Restaurant Line Rolls The Dice With Debit Card
WESTWOOD — Ignoring his misgivings about the possible lack of necessary funds on his debit card, third-year Economics major Andrew Clay, decided to roll the […]
Area Vegan Seriously Injured After Hugging Cactus
BEVERLY HILLS, CA — In an emotionally charged attempt to show his appreciation of vegetation for its nutritional benefits, local vegan Edgar Wilkner tightly embraced […]
Edgy Kid In Philosophy Discussion Insists On Giving Genocidal Rhetoric “A Chance”
WESTWOOD — Starting off the new academic year strong, edgy third-year Jacob Shaw explained to his discussion section why they should all give the genocidal […]
Excited Freshman Loves Learning But At His Own Pace
WESTWOOD – In a conversation with the classmate closest to him in his Sociology 1 discussion, pre-economics major and first-year freshman Steven Coleman revealed that […]