Slow-Moving Spider Can No Longer Be Ignored
LOS ANGELES — Area woman Susan Williams realized that she could no longer ignore the slow-moving arachnid on her bedroom wall on Tuesday afternoon. “Usually, […]
Articles by Ivan Chavez
Nut Allergy Nothing Compared To Embarrassment Of Complaining At Restaurant
WESTWOOD — During a family night out, it came to the attention of area woman Leslie Simmons that the shame and public humiliation of complaining […]
Employee Begins To Feel Kinship With New Name Boss Gave Him
LOS ANGELES — In a turn of events, junior managerial assistant Matthew Stevenson began to feel a kinship with the new name his boss had […]
Apple Announces Plans To Only Play Upbeat Music In Sweatshops
CUPERTINO — This week Apple, in keeping with tradition of ceremonial pomp, held a massive event unveiling their plans to play non-stop pop music for […]
Student At Front Of The Restaurant Line Rolls The Dice With Debit Card
WESTWOOD — Ignoring his misgivings about the possible lack of necessary funds on his debit card, third-year Economics major Andrew Clay, decided to roll the […]
Edgy Kid In Philosophy Discussion Insists On Giving Genocidal Rhetoric “A Chance”
WESTWOOD — Starting off the new academic year strong, edgy third-year Jacob Shaw explained to his discussion section why they should all give the genocidal […]