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Articles by Saniya Anand

Senior Kinda Relieved “Best Time Of Her Life” Almost Over

May 23, 2018 Saniya Anand 0

WESTWOOD — Waking up bright and early for her 11 am class Wednesday morning, fourth-year Adrianne Moreno revealed that she was kind of relieved the […]

Report: Milk Bad For Sure Now

May 23, 2018 Saniya Anand 0

WESTWOOD — Tentatively sniffing the half-gallon jug, fourth-year English major Jenny Wong concluded that the milk was bad for sure now. “It tasted kinda off […]

Area Man Would Have Gotten Away With It If It Weren’t For Those Meddling Kids

May 19, 2018 Saniya Anand 0

CARNIVAL ISLAND — Caught adding poisonous gas to the air purifier systems on Carnival Island in an attempt to simulate an epidemic, area man Joseph […]

Dog Cute But Also Major Step Back For Evolution

May 19, 2018 Saniya Anand 0

ORANGE COUNTY, CA — Sources report that area woman Fatima Gulzar was recently hit by the realization that her dog, Bailey, was cute but also […]

Point: Therapy Has Been So Good For Me / Counterpoint: I’m In Love With My Therapist.

May 19, 2018 Saniya Anand 0

Point: Therapy Has Been So Good For Me. By: Hannah Stein So I finally made the leap and sought out a therapist for myself. They […]

“I Think You Mean Frankenstein’s Monster,” Says Friend

May 19, 2018 Saniya Anand 0

WESTWOOD — Interrupting first-year Sarah Ahmed’s description of the role her eighth grade English teacher played in sparking her love for literature, Ahmed’s friend, first-year Aaron […]

Freshman Relieved She Done With Hardest Quarter

February 8, 2018 Saniya Anand 0

WESTWOOD — Sources report that first-year pre-anthropology major Amelia Collins is relieved she is done with her hardest quarter of her college career. “Everyone told me […]

Excited Freshman Loves Learning But At His Own Pace

October 29, 2017 Saniya Anand 0

WESTWOOD – In a conversation with the classmate closest to him in his Sociology 1 discussion, pre-economics major and first-year freshman Steven Coleman revealed that […]

Wait, Did Area Man Just Ask Me Out?

October 29, 2017 Saniya Anand 0

WESTWOOD — Sources are unsure whether area man Eric, just asked me out. We’ve had dinner together multiple times so I didn’t think it was […]

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Local Five-Year-Old Realizes He Can’t Get Away With Stuff He Did When He Was Four

March 5, 2017 Saniya Anand 0

LOS ANGELES—Early Tuesday morning, five-year-old Joshua Chan realized he could no longer get away with stuff he did when he was four. Joshua believes his […]

Posts pagination

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  • Sad: UCLA 2025 Alum Still Roaming Campus

  • Top Five Father’s Day Gifts For A Dad Who Doesn’t Golf Or Grill Or Fish Or Camp Or Mow The Lawn

    Happy Father’s Day! Fortunately for you, your dad isn’t one of those basic losers who actually gets out of the house and does something on […]

  • Pros And Cons Of Texting Your Hometown Situationship Right Before Summer Vacation

    Summer is nigh. The end of finals is in sight, and unless you were lucky enough to get accepted into some fancy internship in Palo […]

  • Blue and yellow UCLA-themed vibrators at the Hilltop shop

    Anxious For Finals? Hilltop Shop Releases UCLA Vibrators

    WESTWOOD — In light of test-taking jitters, the Hilltop Shop has released UCLA-themed vibrators ahead of finals. “I really wanted to buy the Blue Bullet […]

  • Naked guy at the UCLA undie run

    Trend Watch: Going Commando At Undie Run

    Enough is enough. Every time the UV level is a 7, everybody and their mother is out getting sunburnt on Janss in a bikini top. […]

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