Thirteen Year Old Beatles Fan Born In Wrong Generation
SAN ANTONIO — Thirteen year old Beatles fan Allan Davis realized early Monday morning that he was, in fact, born in the wrong generation. “Like this comment […]
Articles by Pranay Hegde
Area Housecat Charged With Misdemeanor Catnip Possession
SAN FRANCISCO — In the highest profile criminal case of the decade, area housecat Mr. Whiskers was found in his house early Monday morning with seven […]
Powell Bathrooms To Require Multifactor Authentication
WESTWOOD — In a press release late Thursday night, UCLA officials announced that mandated multifactor authentication would extend to the use of Powell Library bathrooms. […]
UNICEF To Consider Starving Children On A Case-By-Case Basis Due To Budget Cuts
LOS ANGELES — UNICEF announced early Monday morning that it would consider providing meals to starving children on a case-by-case basis due to budget cuts, citing […]
Local Man Enjoys Airport Pat-Down
LOS ANGELES — After waiting for over two hours in the security line, local man Michael Beal reportedly “thoroughly enjoyed” a pat-down from officials at the […]
Dodgers Forget How To Play Baseball Before Game 7 Loss
LOS ANGELES — In what psychologists have described as “the greatest case of the Yips ever seen in sports,” every single player on the Los […]
Area Vegan Seriously Injured After Hugging Cactus
BEVERLY HILLS, CA — In an emotionally charged attempt to show his appreciation of vegetation for its nutritional benefits, local vegan Edgar Wilkner tightly embraced […]