Syllabus Very Clear About How Much Studying, Kegels Required To Get “A”
WESTWOOD — In response to unexpectedly low scores on his Program in Computing 10A midterm, Professor Mikhael Gronkson impatiently reminded students that if they had […]
School
Local Huskies Speak Out Against Husky Guy: “We Don’t Know Him”
WESTWOOD — Students passing through Bruin Plaza Tuesday afternoon were met with an impromptu press conference held by a group of local huskies in an […]
Students Disturbed That North Campus Sculpture Not Naked
WESTWOOD — Following the reveal of the latest addition to the North Campus sculpture garden, many students expressed how disturbing it was that the sculpture […]
Royce Hall Introduces Night Royce
WESTWOOD — In an unprecedented move of unclear motive, UCLA officials announced that Royce Hall will be opening its doors to students during the wee […]
UCLA Depression Grand Challenge Getting A Little Competitive
WESTWOOD — After seeing a banner for UCLA’s Depression Grand Challenge, third year computer science major Michael Hodgekiss has made it his goal to win […]
Proactive Freshman Digs Own Grave
WESTWOOD — UCLA freshman and self-proclaimed go-getter Laura Johnsonelli has reportedly begun arrangements for her own burial. “After I graduate med school, meet the optometrist […]
UCLA Employs Team of Sherpas to Assist Students Up The Hill
WESTWOOD — In response to student complaints about accessibility issues, UCLA has hired a team of Sherpas to assist struggling students up The Hill. “In […]
Students Start To Pack, Professor Filibusters
WESTWOOD — As Math 33A neared 3:50 p.m. last Friday, students began to pack in eager anticipation of no longer learning things. “Class isn’t over,” […]
Gene Block Declares Victory In Iowa
DES MOINES — In the midst of the confusion surrounding the Iowa Democratic presidential caucus’ final results, UCLA chancellor and full-time heartthrob Gene Block has […]
Gang Of Musical Theater Majors Terrorizes Students, Snaps Rhythmically
WESTWOOD — This past week, a roving gang of musical theater students hell-bent on verbally, physically, and musically assaulting every non-Gleek within reach plagued UCLA’s […]