North Campus Students Enjoy First Week of Summer
WESTWOOD — UCLA students majoring in the humanities and social sciences have reportedly been enjoying their first week of summer, which as far as they […]
Articles by Max Flora
Onto The Next Chapter! Senior Gets High And Forgets To Go To Class One Last Time
WESTWOOD — Fourth-year statistics student Robert Chatterly woke up early this morning in preparation for his last class at UCLA, but not before taking a […]
LAPD Finds All Suspects Of Murder Case In Break Room
LOS ANGELES — In what must have been either a stroke of luck or an eerie coincidence, the Los Angeles Police Department discovered every suspect […]
Opinion: I Went Undercover To Expose Frat Culture And I’m Having The Time Of My Life
WESTWOOD — When I arrived on the first day of rush, I was a man with a mission. It was my first time ever encountering […]
Frats Denounce COVID, Promise It Won’t Happen Again
WESTWOOD — UCLA’s Greek organizations released a statement Monday acknowledging allegations that they have contributed to the spread of COVID-19 on campus. “Everybody makes mistakes, […]
Sorry Professor! My Dog Ate My Daily Symptom Survey
WESTWOOD — Oops! Fourth-year Leila Bandowitz informed her professor this morning she does not have her daily symptom survey due to her dog’s appetite for […]
Only Time Student Pays Attention to Tell Professor Mic Not Working
WESTWOOD — Second-year biology major Jennifer McGonnifer unmuted herself during a Zoom lecture on Wednesday to tell the professor his audio was not working, although […]
Respectful Fourth-Year Only Dates First-Years 18 Or Older
WESTWOOD — According to a source close to him, fourth-year biology major Josh Winfrey has chosen to respect the women at UCLA and only date […]
Rudy Giuliani Still Waiting On Text From Maria Bakalova
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After his encounter with actress Maria Bakalova in Borat Subsequent Moviefilm, attorney Rudy Giuliani is still waiting for her to reach out […]
Op-Ed: As A Student Athlete, I Only Break Quarantine To Slap My Friend’s Ass
I am a proud member of the UCLA basketball team, and I respect that COVID-19 is a serious threat to the community. I would never […]