WESTWOOD — A groundbreaking discovery was made at the UCLA Geriatric Research and Medical Association (GRAMA) this Tuesday, after an extensive study that involved locking 35 elders in the Purgatory Pines retirement community. “About 20% of the scent is due to stale Werther’s Originals and accumulated dust from Bibles and weird lamps,” informed olfactory analyst Dr. Jerry Attrick, who pioneered the study in search of the next viral smell for a Febreze HomePod. “Further data suggests that this smell is intensified by watching the History Channel past 11:00 p.m., commenting in all caps on AI Facebook posts, and being slightly racist at restaurants. But we ultimately found that it mostly comes from the person’s soul slowly and excruciatingly leaving their body.” At press time, Dr. Attrick was seen corralling the surviving 27 subjects who had begun slowly hobbling to a store that closed 15 years ago.