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School

Only Time Student Pays Attention to Tell Professor Mic Not Working

April 1, 2021 Max Flora 0

WESTWOOD — Second-year biology major Jennifer McGonnifer unmuted herself during a Zoom lecture on Wednesday to tell the professor his audio was not working, although […]

UCLA Campus Available To Sublet Spring Quarter, Utilities Included

March 10, 2021 Jay Varhula 0

WESTWOOD — At 3 a.m. PST Monday morning, the UCLA Board of Directors released a statement on the “UCLA Free And For Sale” Facebook page […]

Respondus LockDown Browser Thinks You Should Smile More

December 14, 2020 Jay Varhula 0

CYBERSPACE — As you attempted to begin your Monday morning midterm, the anti-cheating application Respondus LockDown Browser™ released a statement suggesting that you would look […]

Breakout Room Enters Day Three Of Awkward Silence

December 9, 2020 Dylan Wood 0

WESTWOOD — Tension is running high this morning as an Introduction to Communications discussion entered its third straight day of awkward silence. “This disaster began […]

Respondus Reveals New LockDown Sniper

December 7, 2020 Dylan Wood 0

REDMOND, WA — Earlier today, Respondus, the software company known for its controversial LockDown Browser, revealed their latest product: the all-new Respondus LockDown Sniper™. “Respondus […]

Tough Professor Considers 90% Efficacy of COVID Vaccine a B+

November 11, 2020 Trevor Harrison 0

WESTWOOD — Dr. Andrew Krossco took a bold stance against grade inflation on Monday when he reiterated his rule that the vaccine effectiveness cutoff for […]

Senior Who Taught You How To Do Line Admitted To Law School

September 23, 2020 Max Flora 0

WESTWOOD — Westley Frump, the senior who gave you your first line of cocaine in the bathroom of a house party, has reportedly been admitted […]

Syllabus Very Clear About How Much Studying, Kegels Required To Get “A”

May 5, 2020 Jay Varhula 0

WESTWOOD — In response to unexpectedly low scores on his Program in Computing 10A midterm, Professor Mikhael Gronkson impatiently reminded students that if they had […]

Local Huskies Speak Out Against Husky Guy: “We Don’t Know Him”

March 5, 2020 Jack Grossman 0

WESTWOOD — Students passing through Bruin Plaza Tuesday afternoon were met with an impromptu press conference held by a group of local huskies in an […]

Students Disturbed That North Campus Sculpture Not Naked

February 29, 2020 Nathan Grovhoug 0

WESTWOOD — Following the reveal of the latest addition to the North Campus sculpture garden, many students expressed how disturbing it was that the sculpture […]

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