UCLA To Provide Free Girl Talk In All Campus Bathrooms
WESTWOOD — Following the installation of free menstrual products in over 50% of UCLA bathrooms, administration has announced plans to provide free girl talk in […]
Articles by Jade Lacy
Report: Judge Who Struck Down Mask Mandate Has A Great Smile
TAMPA — Reporters on the scene at Florida’s Middle District Federal court, where Judge Kathryn Kimball Mizelle recently struck down the mask mandate for public […]
Anonymous Invasive Carp Destroys Google Docs Ecosystem
GOOGLE DRIVE — Digital climate scientists announced Friday that the ecosystem of anonymous life forms that populate the Google Docs microbiome is being threatened by […]
HBO Releases New Euphoria Inspired Drugs
NEW YORK, NY— Following the massive success of the second season of “Euphoria,” A24 announced the release of a new line of drugs inspired by […]
“Intersectionality,” And Other Buzzwords You Can Use To Justify Buying From Amazon
We all know how it goes. You run out of masks or printer ink or clean underwear, and you need more ASAP. There’s only one […]
Westwood Neighborhood Council Votes To Add More Vacant Pits
WESTWOOD — Citing an uncharacteristic lack of gaping holes in the ground, the Westwood Neighborhood Council voted Friday to add more vacant pits to the […]
Professor Announces Solitaire Will Be On Midterm
WESTWOOD — English 10B Professor Jane Houston announced Tuesday that in order to accurately reflect what students have been doing in lecture, solitaire will be […]
Students, Viruses Enjoy Return to Campus
WESTWOOD — The UCLA community, and the UCLA virus community lying dormant in students’ bloodstreams, began its return to campus this week with excitement. “It […]
Grizzled Detective Still Waiting for Wife to Be Murdered
NEW YORK CITY — Veteran homicide detective Rick Gruff expressed concerns Sunday that his wife of twenty years is still alive and well. “I’ve made […]
Uh Oh! You Just Got Invited To An Improv Show
WESTWOOD — Amateur comedians have been bombarding unsuspecting students over the past week with invites to their improv shows, and you are their latest victim. […]