Gene Block Purchases Gene Glock Following Recent Budget Cuts
WESTWOOD — Due to recent budget cuts, Chancellor Gene Block has begun pushing for a new cost-cutting and productivity-boosting measure: murder. “Even if we shoot […]
Celebrities
Elon Musk Buys UCLA
WESTWOOD — After his $44 billion purchase of Twitter proved financially ruinous, billionaire Elon Musk has decided to buy UCLA in hopes of recouping his […]
Gene Block Says Campus Wifi Won’t Truly Get Better Until It Learns To Accept Help
WESTWOOD— Gene Block told the UCLA community on Wednesday that administrators staged a “promising” intervention with the campus WiFi, but admitted that we can’t expect […]
Report: Bruno Mars “Just Kidding” About Jumping In Front Of Train For Ya
LOS ANGELES — Musician Bruno Mars announced Tuesday that he was “just kidding” about his promise to jump in front of a train for ya […]
Quirky, Enigmatic, Brilliant, And Other Adjectives To Describe Daniel Radcliffe
TORONTO — On the red carpet of his recent biopic premiere, Weird Al Yankovic offered our reporter some words that can be used to describe […]
Area Dog Puts Human As Last Tinder Profile Picture
WESTWOOF — Local pup Daw Gee took to the streets Monday and made a Tinder for himself, making sure to put a shot of his […]
Opinion: If Ned Fulmer Can Do It, So Will Your Boyfriend
Did you just celebrate your two year anniversary with Sweetie Cakes? Everything’s going well, he bought you flowers and gifts, and promised to love you […]
Sloppy Drunk Joe Biden Spotted At Fat Sal’s
WESTWOOD— Joe Biden was spotted just after 1 a.m. Saturday morning at the Westwood Fat Sal’s, having wined and dined the day away with the […]
Couple Goals! Guy On Electric Skateboard And Girl Walking Next To Him
WESTWOOD — The Daily Bruin’s Council of Romantic Research and Love Studies released their conclusion Sunday that this fall’s most coveted relationship is that of […]