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Articles by Hi girlie! It’s your bestie. You missed my last 47 texts, but I’m telling you: you CANNOT get back together with your shitty ex!

Opinion: No, Your Shared Spotify Playlist With Your Ex Is Not A Subliminal Message

January 17, 2023 Hi girlie! It’s your bestie. You missed my last 47 texts, but I’m telling you: you CANNOT get back together with your shitty ex! 0

I know what it’s like to go through a break up. I understand the urge to read into their every Instagram like and Bitmoji location […]

7 Reasons To Stop Bitching About The Rain

January 10, 2023 Serena Lee 0

I get it. You’re a spoiled Californian who has never experienced “seasons” or the minor inconvenience known as rain. Well, quit your whining. I happen […]

Opinion: If Ned Fulmer Can Do It, So Will Your Boyfriend

October 16, 2022 Serena Lee 0

Did you just celebrate your two year anniversary with Sweetie Cakes? Everything’s going well, he bought you flowers and gifts, and promised to love you […]

FDA Approves Emergency “Thoughts And Prayers” Treatment For Gunshot Victims

May 28, 2022 Serena Lee 0

SILVER SPRINGS, MD — The recent shooting in Uvalde, TX which left 21 dead has prompted the Food and Drug Administration to grant emergency use […]

  • Local Pizza Delivery Boy Shocked At Scantily-Clad Customer’s Lack of Money

    RANCHO MURIETA — A local pizza delivery boy faced a shock last night when he delivered to a scantily-clad woman who didn’t have the funds […]

  • UCPD Enlists California Highway Patrol to Boost Middling Police Violence Rates

    WESTWOOD — Following weeks of peace and safety on campus, UCPD has announced a partnership with the California Highway Patrol in an attempt to restore […]

  • Opinion: To Solve UCLA’s Financial Challenges, We Must Invest More Money Into Israel

    Hey guys. Westwood Enabler opinion writer Oiluj Knerf here. I’m a UCLA student just like you! I love my friends, I love my classes, and […]

  • UCLA Administration Goes On Strike to Protest AFSCME

    WESTWOOD — This past week, UCLA administration has bravely taken to the streets to protest the injustices committed by the “pesky” AFSCME labor union. “It’s […]

  • Winter Quarter Offers Every Goddamn Class But The Ones You Need For Your Degree

    WESTWOOD — UCLA recently announced a bold new plan to offer every single class for Winter 2026– except for the ones you need to graduate […]

Featured Authors

Grace McIntyre
  • UCLA Opens “B-ruining Lives” Resource Center For Student Anti-Wellbeing
  • Opinion: If You A Stressed Baddie Who Procrastinated Before Canvas Went Down, This One’s For You
  • A Letter To Prospective Student Tour Groups: I’m Better Than You
Zach Fischer
  • Backpacking Club Announces Trip To Public Affairs Building
  • UCLA Administration Goes On Strike to Protest AFSCME
  • Economists Worried As Daylight Savings Runs Out

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