High School “A” Student Excited to be College “A” Student
WESTWOOD — In a declaration made to her life sciences study group last week, first-year nursing student Amanda Stein made it clear that because she […]
Life
Area Man Googles “Kurd”
BUFFALO, NY — As the nation grapples with the Trump Administration’s decision to remove troops from Syria, area man Thomas Pitt took the drastic measure […]
Cole Sprouse Admits He Absorbed Third Sprouse Child In Womb
LOS ANGELES — Earlier this week during an informal interview inside of an Applebee’s, Cole Sprouse revealed that he absorbed his third brother, Sheldon, while […]
BREAKING: I Saw Mommy Kissing The Great Pumpkin
PUMPKIN PATCH — Last night was Halloween, and in my nine years alive, I had never before seen such haunting magic. At around 2 AM, […]
Money Can’t Buy Happiness, Reports Man in Upper Middle Class
PALO ALTO — Jason Duane, a man lucky enough to be born into a financially secure family, recently reported that having money is not, in […]
Father-Son Fishing Trip Goes Sour When Both Realize Fishing Sucks
LAKE MICHIGAN — Last week off the shore of Lake Michigan, a father-son fishing trip took a turn for the worse when they realized that […]
Life Hack: Attract Students To Your Study Group By Asking What Their Skeleton Looks Like
If you’re looking for members to make a study group, there’s no method more tried and true than approaching students in your class and […]
Aww! Man Celebrates Valentine’s Day by Making Love to Capitalism
Johnny Richardson, a 21-year-old Westwood resident, woke up fresh-faced with an extra spring in his step and walked to his local grocery store to ring […]
Seven Cute Christmas Gift Ideas Inspired by Animal Crossing
1. Crocheted Bell Bag — This gift idea is perfect for anyone who is short on cash, but has plenty of time and crocheting experience! […]
Taking Action: When This Man Heard About the Waffle House Shooting, He Copied and Pasted All of the Lyrics to John Lennon’s “Imagine” on His Facebook Timeline
It seems like there’s a mass shooting every week in America, each followed by little change. People offer their ‘thoughts and prayers’ and argue about […]