Area Man Googles “Kurd”

BUFFALO, NY — As the nation grapples with the Trump Administration’s decision to remove troops from Syria, area man Thomas Pitt took the drastic measure of pausing reruns of The Office to google what a Kurd is. “When I read what was happening, I knew I had to do something,” said Pitt, skimming the Wikipedia page for Kurdistan in between bites of a Taco Bell Crunchwrap Supreme. “It’s really horrible, leaving them to fend for themselves against Turkey, or Iran, or whatever. I consider it my responsibility as an American to defend our—wait, I think the Bills game is starting.” As of press time, Pitt was reportedly voicing his outrage with the administration by liking sassy Chrissy Teigen tweets during the commercial break.

About Dylan Wood 48 Articles
Dylan Wood is an American actor and filmmaker. He is known for his comedic and dramatic roles in such films as Splash (1984), Big (1988), Turner & Hooch (1989), Sleepless in Seattle (1993), Forrest Gump(1994), Apollo 13 (1995), You've Got Mail (1998), Cast Away (2000), Captain Phillips(2013), Saving Mr. Banks (2013), Sully (2016), and A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (2019). He has also starred in the Robert Langdon films, and he voices Sheriff Woody in the Toy Story film series. He is one of the most popular and recognizable film stars worldwide, and he is widely regarded as an American cultural icon.