Respondus LockDown Browser Thinks You Should Smile More
CYBERSPACE — As you attempted to begin your Monday morning midterm, the anti-cheating application Respondus LockDown Browser™ released a statement suggesting that you would look […]
Breakout Room Enters Day Three Of Awkward Silence
WESTWOOD — Tension is running high this morning as an Introduction to Communications discussion entered its third straight day of awkward silence. “This disaster began […]
COVID Positive Rudy Giuliani Checks Into Walter Reed Hardware Store
WASHINGTON, DC — Following his positive COVID-19 diagnosis, Rudy Giuliani has reportedly checked himself into Walter Reed Hardware Store, a small building supply company located […]
Respondus Reveals New LockDown Sniper
REDMOND, WA — Earlier today, Respondus, the software company known for its controversial LockDown Browser, revealed their latest product: the all-new Respondus LockDown Sniper™. “Respondus […]
Election Lowers Average Age Of Senate From 87 To 86
WASHINGTON — Following the poll-defying results of the 2020 general elections, the demographic of the Senate has been altered, some say, for the better. “We […]
NFL Plans To Quarantine COVID Positive Players In Team Facilities
NEW YORK — In a statement on Monday, National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell announced new COVID-19 protocols in the aftermath of increased coronavirus cases […]
Staff Suggestions For Thanksgiving Quarantine Activities
This truly has been an unprecedented year! It is difficult to spend the holidays apart from family, and we at the Westwood Enabler know how […]
Worst Person You Know Not Muted on Zoom
WESTWOOD — At approximately 9:45 this morning, the worst person you know failed to mute himself in the Zoom meeting for your lecture. “MOM DO […]
Chick-fil-A CEO Converts To Islam
ATLANTA — Chick-fil-A’s CEO announced his conversion to Islam on Monday. “The American people need to eat more chicken, especially our new ‘Chick-fil-afel’,” said Chief […]
CCLE Wishes To Become Real Website
WESTWOOD — After yet another day of letting down students and professors alike, CCLE wished upon a shooting star to become a real website just […]