Worst Person You Know Not Muted on Zoom

WESTWOOD — At approximately 9:45 this morning, the worst person you know failed to mute himself in the Zoom meeting for your lecture. “MOM DO YOU KNOW IF WE HAVE ANY MORE OF THE APPLE SAUCE SQUEEZY PACKS… NO, NOT THE TARGET BRAND ONES—THE MOTTS ONES…I DON’T KNOW, I THINK IT’S MATH OR SOMETHING…NO, I’M MUTED; IT’S FINE” quoted Morgan Martin, the most profoundly garbage human being you’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting, before finally realizing his microphone was on. “Oh aha my bad.” Later, you spotted Martin in the Zoom chat responding to other students’ questions to the professor with his own incorrect explanations.

About Kylie Kinne 15 Articles
Kylie Kinne is a fourth-year physics major from San Antonio, Texas. When she’s not writing satirical news, she enjoys piña coladas, getting caught in the rain, and making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape.