Second Year Learns To Do Laundry
WESTWOOD — Rieber Hall residents can now breathe a sigh of relief as second-year resident Emmet Turring (no relation) has finally learned to do his […]
Powell Cat’s Nudes Leaked
WESTWOOD — Shockwaves were felt across the UCLA campus yesterday after Powell Cat’s publicist, Meea Yao, released a statement claiming that multiple students’ Instagram stories […]
Trend Watch! The Case To Bring Back Lead Poisoning
From bell-bottoms to tube tops, the next generation is scouring the history books for new and exciting ways to kick it old-school. But fashion doesn’t […]
Spotify Wrapped 2022 Just Spotify Wrapped 2021 In Slightly Different Order
WESTWOOD — As the year comes to an end, Spotify has once again given each user a personalized playlist consisting of their most listened songs […]
Ackerman Smoothie Robot Also Striking
ACKERMAN STUDENT UNION — In a unanimous vote, the Ackerman Beverage Kiosk Robotic Arm Union solidified plans for a strike. “I will bring UCLA to […]
CVS Celebrates Fall With Pumpkin Spice Pepper Spray
LOS ANGELES— Since Monday morning, customers of the Consumer Value Store have been able to enjoy a new line of products that capture the holiday […]
Spotify Wrapped Now Includes Times Spent Listening To Spotify Ads
STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN — Spotify CEO Daniel Ek announced this morning that users without Spotify Premium can expect to see the statistic of “Times Spent Listening […]
Nationwide Adderall Shortage Causes Lack Of Focus On Producing More Adderall
TEL AVIV — In the midst of a nationwide Adderall shortage, procrastinating college students and people with ADHD are demanding increased production of the amphetamine, […]
Food Truck Fortune Cookie Lists Exact Time, Location of Death
WESTWOOD — First-year engineering major Bob Virgyn was surprised last Thursday night after his fortune cookie revealed the exact time and location of his death. […]
5 Tips For Setting Healthy Boundaries With The Ants In Your Kitchen
Fall is here, and you know what that means! Pumpkin spice, holiday breaks, and several hundred new roommates. That’s right, your apartment is crawling with […]