Opinion: Election Day Is Less Exciting Now That I’m Not In Eighth-Grade History Class
Picture this: It’s 2016, Harambe just died, an app called Musical.ly was taking the world by storm, and there’s one thing that everyone is asking: […]
The Westwood Enabler Endorses Joe Biden For President
Most presidential elections are, at their core, about two different visions of America. This one is different. This election calls into question the very existence […]
Opinion: Athletes Should Only Ride Scooters If Their Team Has Won A Championship In The Past 10 Years
You blink and they appear: a 250 pound, 6 foot 5 monster hurtling toward you with an empty, dog tagged backpack at 45 miles an […]
5 Halloween Looks That Scream “This Was Meant To Be A Couple’s Costume”
When people ask, “Where’s pepper?” you can laugh and say, “She got tired of me being salty all the time!” Then start crying and kill […]
Uh Oh! Guy In Patrick Bateman Costume Getting Too Method
WESTWOOD — Last weekend, partygoers at a consulting club fundrager agreed that second-year business economics major Alan Paul got a little too into his Patrick […]
Silverlake Transplants Start Urban Camping Business In Skid Row
LOS ANGELES — After relocating from Burning Man to Silverlake, two-person polycule Chadwin Parsley and Rosemary Sage noticed a vacancy in the urban camping market. […]
Saddam Hussein’s Uncovered Journal Entries Reveal Plan To Hide In Hedrick Hall Triple Before Opting For “More Comfortable And Spacious” Spider Hole
WESTWOOD – Released earlier today by the UCLA History Department, journal entries written by Saddam Hussein prior to his death reveal that the Iraqi dictator […]
Breaking: Every Bitch Is From The Bay Area
WESTWOOD — After a thorough examination of UCLA’s student population, it has been concluded that every bitch is from the Bay Area. “Every time I […]