Health Tip: Swallow Your Zyns
The great historian Howard Zynn once said, “Dissent is the highest form of patriotism.” Revising the revisionist, I say, “Dis Zyn is the highest form […]
Articles by Sandall Tobias
Low-Hanging Fruit: Bad Comedian’s Balls Are Really Heavy
AUSTIN — After a joke asking the woke mob to ‘DEI these nutz’, unfunny comedian Matt Rifle felt the beans in his wrinkly scrotum swell […]
Mysogyny And For Other Words I Don’t Know How To Spell
Its finals weak. I have to right tree different essays butt oh no I’m bad at spelling! I’m not gonna use spellcheck because the machine’s […]
New Religion Course Taught by Boy Who Experienced Empathy For First Time After Shroom Trip
WESTWOOD — After tripping balls at a Phish concert and realizing other people have feelings, fifth-year general studies major, Gunner Helloden, was offered a tenure-track […]
Silverlake Transplants Start Urban Camping Business In Skid Row
LOS ANGELES — After relocating from Burning Man to Silverlake, two-person polycule Chadwin Parsley and Rosemary Sage noticed a vacancy in the urban camping market. […]