WESTWOOD — After the National Guard entered Westwood Village yesterday afternoon, many soldiers were disappointed to find out that there was nothing to do in town between deporting immigrants. “I was really looking forward to grabbing a bite at BJ’s after hopefully brandishing my gun at a mother holding her baby, but all that’s left is just a phone repair shop and tapioca ball slop,” said Guardsman Ray Cist while circling around in his truck trying to find affordable street parking. “I thought college towns were supposed to be the epitome of innovation and culture, but there’s no bookstores, concert venues, or decent bars? Maybe we do need immigrants after all.” At press time, Cist was seen playing Connect Four in Broxton Plaza by himself.