Area Man Loved That Cinematography
WESTWOOD—Citing the director’s artistic use of various camera techniques in a new movie he saw on Tuesday, area man Noah Pitzer loved that cinematography. “The […]
Big Win For Mouthfeel! This Merlot Is Tannic And Velvety
Good news, mouthfeel lovers! The Edna Valley 2013 Merlot is tannic and velvety. Its deep, chewy tannins and smooth, opulent body make for a wonderfully […]
Body Positivity! This 8th Grader Drew Boobs On His Chem Textbook
Despite major strides made by #FreeTheNipple and other gender equality campaigns, the female body is still constantly viewed as a sexual object. Though male and […]
Body Language of Bruin Mascot at Events Growing Increasingly Despondent, Depressing
WESTWOOD — UCLA students watched with curiosity over the past several weeks as the body language of Joe Bruin, the school’s lovable mascot who attends […]
“I Earned This” Says Man Who Has Done Nothing All Day
FREEHOLD, NJ—Reports confirm that late this afternoon 27-year-old David Gibney sat down on his sofa with an ice cold beer to relax after a long […]
Op-Ed: Liberals, Stop Calling Your Fake News “Satire”
With all the fake news circulating social media the past few months, some would say the blurred lines of fact and fiction have felt like […]
Report: Student Had Busy Day, But Friend’s Was Even Busier
WESTWOOD—Student Alfie Hochman reported last Friday that he had a busy day, but his friend’s was even busier. “I had a class from 9-10 a.m., […]
Area Moms Discuss Book At Wine Club
LOS ANGELES—Sources report that the moms of the Rancho Palos Verdes area all congregated at Susan’s house and discussed a book briefly before consuming multiple […]
Roommate Still In Bathroom
WESTWOOD – Sources have confirmed that as of 8:22 this evening, your roommate was still in the bathroom. “It’s been almost ten minutes. Not that […]
Study: Writers Of Satirical News Articles Make Ideal Lovers
WESTWOOD – A recent study conducted at UCLA has determined that writers of satirical news articles tend to make ideal lovers. “More than any other […]