Golden Key Honor Society Deadline Approaching
WESTWOOD–Sources have confirmed that the deadline for the Golden Key Honor Society, who warns you of its upcoming deadline every couple of weeks, is rapidly […]
Articles by Peter Carman
Kid Really Good At Chess For Some Reason
WESTWOOD – Local 12-year-old Eric Donovan is really good at chess for some reason, sources have reported. “I’ve seen him play with other kids and […]
Cute! These Founding Fathers Tried To Create A Nation With No Demagoguery
Are you ready for the most heartwarming story you’ve read all week? A group of Founding Fathers tried to create their very own nation, completely […]
Conversation Going Well Until Jesus Brought Up
WESTWOOD–A recent conversation between local man and woman James McCarthy and Abigail Hill was going well until Jesus was brought up. “It started out totally […]
Teen Thinks This Nietzsche Guy Is Pretty Cool
WESTWOOD – Local teenager Sam Herman thinks this Nietzsche guy is pretty cool. “All that stuff about slave morality is pretty interesting,” said Sam, an […]
“Live, Laugh, Love” Poster On Girl’s Wall Tells You All You Need To Know
WESTWOOD–Sources have reported that the “Live, Laugh, Love” poster hanging on the wall of local 20-year-old Lindsey Matthews tells you pretty much all you need […]
Screaming Customer Inspires Cashier to Be Better
WESTWOOD–Sources confirm that an altercation with an infuriated customer inspired local retail worker Rachel Jefferson to be better. “It was an overwhelming personal experience, and […]
Local Weirdo’s Favorite Muppet Isn’t Beaker
WESTWOOD–Sources have recently confirmed that the favorite Muppet of Ian O’Neill, a local weirdo, isn’t Beaker. “Beaker’s alright, but no way is he my favorite,” […]
Study: Average Person Takes At Least Three Months To Get Over Failed Relationship, Debbie, You Bitch
WESTWOOD–A new study conducted at UCLA has found that the average person takes at least three months to get over a failed relationship, Debbie, you […]
Local Man Mediocre Artist Despite Unhappy Childhood
WESTWOOD–Despite having an unhappy childhood, local man Stephen Hopkins, 34, is still a mediocre artist. “My parents and I moved around a lot, never really […]