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Articles by Sierra Scott

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About Sierra Scott
Sierra is an accomplished writer who has been with the Westwood Enabler for as long as many can remember. Years? No. Decades? No. The ancient Mesopotamians referred to her as "Shalduth, the Night Bringer" but she usually goes by "Sierra."
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Classmate Somehow Always Surprised When His Turn To Talk In Circle

April 30, 2017 Sierra Scott 0

WESTWOOD—Sources confirm that second-year fine arts student Brett Phillips is somehow always surprised when it’s his turn to participate in class conversations that follow sequential […]

Area Man Worried Waiter Should Have Written Down Order

April 30, 2017 Sierra Scott 0

LOS ANGELES—While dining at a local restaurant with several friends on Monday, area man Greg Johnson became increasingly worried when the waiter did not write […]

TA Just Basking In Students’ Silence

March 5, 2017 Sierra Scott 0

WESTWOOD—Teaching Assistant Victoria Ivanov was reportedly just basking in students’ dumbfounded silence following a “vague question” in this week’s discussion for an upper-division political science […]

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Report: Headphone Volume No Match For Crunchy Chip

March 5, 2017 Sierra Scott 0

WESTWOOD—Area man Louis Miller reported on Monday that no matter how high he turned the volume of his earbuds, he could not overpower the sound […]

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White Celebrity In $100,000 Dress Wins Gold Statue For Being The Best, Denounces Trump

February 27, 2017 Sierra Scott 0

LOS ANGELES—A white celebrity wearing a $100,000 dress got onstage at The Academy Awards where she accepted a golden statue for being the best and […]

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Area Man Loved That Cinematography

February 12, 2017 Sierra Scott 0

WESTWOOD—Citing the director’s artistic use of various camera techniques in a new movie he saw on Tuesday, area man Noah Pitzer loved that cinematography. “The […]

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Report: Student Had Busy Day, But Friend’s Was Even Busier

February 12, 2017 Sierra Scott 0

WESTWOOD—Student Alfie Hochman reported last Friday that he had a busy day, but his friend’s was even busier. “I had a class from 9-10 a.m., […]

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Report: My Break Was Good, How Was Yours?

January 18, 2017 Sierra Scott 0

WESTWOOD—Scientists recently concluded a comprehensive study following UCLA’s winter recess that indicates that my break was good, how was yours? Mine was pretty relaxing; I […]

UCLA To Students: If You Donate One Kidney, Donors Will Back 250,000 More

November 16, 2016 Sierra Scott 0

WESTWOOD—Chancellor Gene D. Block announced in a university press release today that if enough students donate one kidney to UCLA for the True Bruin Challenge, […]

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Area Mom Uses Term “Hook Up” Incorrectly Again

November 13, 2016 Sierra Scott 0

LOS ANGELES—Area mom Lois Stevens reportedly used the term “hook up” incorrectly again yesterday when encouraging her daughter to attend her professor’s office hours. “Surely […]

Posts pagination

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  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes

    Just the other day, I was walking to campus, my fresh, virgin eyes bright and cheery, excited to see the world and all the glory […]

  • A white boy and Asian girl standing outside Marugame Udon

    White Boy With Asian Girlfriend Too Excited To Celebrate AAPI Month

    WESTWOOD — After making yet another joke about “sucking balls” while ordering boba, first-year Global Studies major Brayden Smith made an Instagram post where he […]

  • Embarrassing! Student Doesn’t Have Outfit For Victorian French Gothic Hyperpop Themed Fundrager

    WESTWOOD — This weekend, civil engineering freshman James Baeseck was humiliated as he failed to show up in theme to the unsustainable fashion club’s Victorian […]

  • Report: Never Trust How You Feel About Your Life From 12AM To 11:59PM

    WESTWOOD — A new study from UCLA’s Student Anxiety and Depression (SAD) laboratory recommends to never trust anything you think about your life from 12:00 […]

  • Secretary of Defense Announces That Only The “Boy Lesbians” Will Be Eligible for Future Drafts

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Commenting on the draft eligibility of American women, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth announced that only the “boy lesbians” would be eligible. […]

Featured Authors

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Gabe McNeill
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
  • Opinion: The Ackerman Third Floor Gay Cruising Space Should Be A Designated Cultural Heritage Site
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Sam Rusk
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
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