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Celebrities

Well, That Can’t Be Good! Las Vegas Sphere Rolls Away

November 26, 2024 Lincoln Melcher 0

LAS VEGAS — The Las Vegas entertainment industry suffered a devastating loss this past weekend when a strong gust of wind sent the world-famous Sphere […]

Opinion: This “College” Shit Is Nothing Like Community

November 25, 2024 Maggie Kwan 0

I arrived at UCLA like many first-years: bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and convinced that my four years at college would be just as magical as the six […]

Matt Gaetz Celebrates Attorney General Nomination At High School Party

November 13, 2024 Rachana Aithal 0

Saddam Hussein’s Uncovered Journal Entries Reveal Plan To Hide In Hedrick Hall Triple Before Opting For “More Comfortable And Spacious” Spider Hole

October 28, 2024 Lincoln Melcher 0

WESTWOOD – Released earlier today by the UCLA History Department, journal entries written by Saddam Hussein prior to his death reveal that the Iraqi dictator […]

Ben Shapiro Defeats Wokeness At UCLA By Putting Audience To Sleep

October 22, 2024 Shane Cameranesi 0

Biden Announces He Is Out In Late Pride Month Confession

July 21, 2024 Rachana Aithal 0

Generous UCLA Admin Gives Week Off For Students To Process Drake-Kendrick Feud

May 8, 2024 Maya Chatrathi 0

WESTWOOD — In a move that exemplifies the generosity and kindness they are known for, the UCLA administration announced on Monday that they would give […]

Breaking: Every Celebrity Has Now Appeared On Every Other Celebrity’s Podcast, Lifting The Curse And Freeing Us All

April 29, 2024 Maya Chatrathi 0

LOS ANGELES — In a development that is sure to bring about nationwide revelry, every single celebrity has now appeared on every other celebrity’s podcast, […]

Paul McCartney Voted Cutest Beatle By Process Of Elimination

March 26, 2024 Georgia McNeill 0

Fat Sal’s Goes On Ozempic

January 10, 2024 Dana Badii 0

WESTWOOD — In an attempt to rebrand as a skinny queen, Fat Sal’s is saying bye-bye to grease and hello to semaglutide in its famous […]

Posts pagination

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  • Opinion: Suck It, Pre-Meds! Now We’re All Going To Be Unemployed

    It finally happened. Despite being so against equity and inclusion, Trump finally did something to level the playing field between you pre-meds and us humanities, […]

  • Roommate Unable To Clean Dorm Because Floor Is Lava

    WESTWOOOD – In an emergency press conference inside your dorm today, your roommate announced they are unable to clean because the floor is lava. “I […]

  • Woke Mother Performs First Successful “Straight Conversion Therapy”

    WEST HOLLYWOOD — On Tuesday, local woke mother Dorothy McBeal celebrated the results of months of grueling treatment as her first and only child finally […]

  • two skeletons kissing in front of a rainbow pride flag

    Skeletons In Closet Come Out

  • Supreme Court Brings Back Three-Fifths Compromise

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a blockbuster 5⅗–2⅗ decision, the Supreme Court has ruled Section 2 of the 14th Amendment unconstitutional, effectively allowing states to declare […]

Featured Authors

mm
Georgia McNeill
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research
  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style

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