Doctors Hate Her! Local Woman Says “AWOOGA” Instead Of “Ahhh” At Every Checkup
LOS ANGELES — Just this week, several Los Angeles doctors came forward to detail their uncomfortable experiences with local woman Riley Coyote, who says “AWOOGA” […]
Westwood Neighborhood Council Votes To Add More Vacant Pits
WESTWOOD — Citing an uncharacteristic lack of gaping holes in the ground, the Westwood Neighborhood Council voted Friday to add more vacant pits to the […]
Breaking: UCLA Has A Women’s Basketball Team, Too!
WESTWOOD — Undercover journalists for the Daily Bruin’s sports desk have unearthed information suggesting that UCLA has a women’s basketball team that also wins games […]
UCLA Confesses Most Philosophy Professors Have Several Hundred Page Manifesto
WESTWOOD — Amid a push for increased transparency with the student body, UCLA has confessed that almost all of their philosophy professors have several hundred […]
5 Organs To Steal From Your Significant Other Other Than Their Heart
Strapped for cash for the best Valentine’s Day gift? Already donated all the blood you can to the blood and platelet center? Not to fret– […]
Rowing Team Wins Diversity Award, As Many As Two Minorities Represented
ORANGE COUNTY, CA — A local rowing club took home the top prize in USRowing’s diversity awards this week in recognition of their melting pot […]
Study Shows Too Much Weed Causes Memory Loss, May Also Cause Memory Loss
WESTWOOD— A new study out of UCLA has shown that consuming too much marijuana causes memory loss, and it may also cause memory loss. Wait, […]
Professor Announces Solitaire Will Be On Midterm
WESTWOOD — English 10B Professor Jane Houston announced Tuesday that in order to accurately reflect what students have been doing in lecture, solitaire will be […]
Students, Viruses Enjoy Return to Campus
WESTWOOD — The UCLA community, and the UCLA virus community lying dormant in students’ bloodstreams, began its return to campus this week with excitement. “It […]