Westwood Neighborhood Council Votes To Add More Vacant Pits

WESTWOOD — Citing an uncharacteristic lack of gaping holes in the ground, the Westwood Neighborhood Council voted Friday to add more vacant pits to the community. “The new buildings filling the Landfair pit have also left a hole in students’ hearts,” said council member Patricia Jones, shouting from a newly opened mineshaft in the middle of Gayley Avenue. “It just isn’t Westwood without a treacherous, endless construction project happening right next door. Now that the Le Conte University Apartments have been completed, many members of the community are missing the hideous cavity that makes this neighborhood feel like home.” The council has vowed to add five new ditches, chasms, and abysses to Westwood Village by 2025.

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Jade is an enigma, the shadow at the edge of your vision, the personification of night, and a third-year English major. She enjoys creeping into your nightmares and creative writing.