Ancestry.com Reveals Only Virgin In Family Lineage
WESTWOOD — Your Ancestry.com results revealed Tuesday that you are the only virgin in your family lineage. “Every single one of your direct ancestors were […]
Articles by Amariyah Lane-Volz
“He Doesn’t Bite,” Says Man About Dog Who Stabs People
CORNER BY CHICK-FIL-A — Area man Brad Perez confirmed this week that while his dog Brutus does not bite people, he does stab them. “Of […]
New Season Of “How It’s Made” Features Episode On Babies
MONTREAL — Producers behind the television show “How It’s Made” recently announced that the upcoming season will feature an episode about babies. “The process begins […]
Six Self Love Exercises That Even Your Dumb Little Brain Could Do
With the most stressful weeks of the quarter beginning, it’s important you’re prepared for the onslaught of hate, both from within and without. Here are […]
5 Organs To Steal From Your Significant Other Other Than Their Heart
Strapped for cash for the best Valentine’s Day gift? Already donated all the blood you can to the blood and platelet center? Not to fret– […]
Student Using Zoom Raise Hand Function “Just Stretching”
LOS ANGELES — Second-year Communications major Aiden Malone clarified today that his use of the “raise hand” function on zoom was just his stretching. “If […]
Online Professor Requests Students “Smash That Like Button, Comment, And Subscribe”
WESTWOOD — In the wake of instructor surveys, online professors have begun to request that students smash that like button, comment on the discussion board, […]
Report: Male Pattern Baldness Also Extends To Pubes
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA — A recent report found that 70% of balding men also reported hair loss in the pubic region. “For a lot of us, […]