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Gene Block One Well-Worded Email Away From World Peace

May 20, 2024 Georgia McNeill 0

WESTWOOD — After sending multiple emails about the current “conflicts” happening both on campus and internationally, Gene Block is reportedly just one well-worded email away […]

UCLA To Investigate What UCLA Ordered UCPD To Do

May 17, 2024 Tatiana Davidson 0

WESTWOOD — On Monday morning, Chancellor Gene Block announced UCLA’s investigation into what UCLA ordered UCPD to do to UCLA student protestors on UCLA’s campus. […]

USAC Candidate Campaigns To Implement The Gold Standard For Meal Swipes

May 16, 2024 Emma Searing 0

WESTWOOD — With upcoming deflation to $4.33 for on-campus meal swipes, USAC Candidate Roger Hardy plans to tackle upcoming swipe deflation with an old-fashioned solution […]

TA Worried Strike Will Impact Weapons Manufacturing Job

May 15, 2024 Enabler Staff 0

WESTWOOD — As another TA strike seems imminent, some graduate students are more hesitant to support the cause. “It’s not like these foreign wars have […]

Top Five Books That Could’ve Been An Email

May 14, 2024 Maya Chatrathi 0

To Whom It May Concern, In today’s world, clear and concise communication is more important than ever. Electronic messaging has revolutionized almost every aspect of […]

Person Who Woke Up For 8 AM Lived Ten Lifetimes By Time You Woke Up

May 13, 2024 Ammi Lane-Volz 0

SAMSARA – Local history major and winner of the self-given “bravest and most grizzled person of all time” award Jenette Broxton is reported to have […]

Generous UCLA Admin Gives Week Off For Students To Process Drake-Kendrick Feud

May 8, 2024 Maya Chatrathi 0

WESTWOOD — In a move that exemplifies the generosity and kindness they are known for, the UCLA administration announced on Monday that they would give […]

UCLA Offers New Study Abroad Program At Van Nuys Jail

May 7, 2024 Tatiana Davidson 0

Student Who Took Baton To Skull Not Really Feeling Up For Musicology Midterm

May 6, 2024 Enabler Staff 0

WESTWOOD — After last week’s tumultuous events, fourth-year communications major Jim Boon just cannot seem to rally for his midterm on The Beatles. “I can’t […]

UCLA Provides Police Violence As Safer Alternative To Counter-Protestor Violence

May 5, 2024 Sabrina Ellis 0

WESTWOOD — After UCLA student activists were attacked by counter-protestors Tuesday night, university administration immediately handled it 24 hours later by calling cops to brutalize […]

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  • Joe Bruin Bulks Up, Grows Beard For Pride Month

    WESTWOOD — After undergoing twink death at the age of 99, beloved UCLA mascot Joe Bruin has now transformed into the bear he was meant […]

  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs

    1. Tongva Steps Nothing says “studious” like sitting on a wet, inclined plane surrounded by the sights, sounds, and smells of the vibrant UCLA slackline […]

  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No

    Coming out to your family can be difficult. From telling your uncle you’re bicurious to letting your little sister know you’re transgender, you never quite […]

  • “How Will This Affect Saffron And Rose?” Asks Guy Trying To Form Opinion On Iran War

    WESTWOOD — After hearing about America’s bombing of Iran, one man still could not pick a side to support until knowing the fate of local […]

  • Scientists Discover Why Old People Smell Like That

    WESTWOOD — A groundbreaking discovery was made at the UCLA Geriatric Research and Medical Association (GRAMA) this Tuesday, after an extensive study that involved locking […]

Featured Authors

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Georgia McNeill
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research
  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style

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