Uh Oh! Guy In Patrick Bateman Costume Getting Too Method
WESTWOOD — Last weekend, partygoers at a consulting club fundrager agreed that second-year business economics major Alan Paul got a little too into his Patrick […]
Silverlake Transplants Start Urban Camping Business In Skid Row
LOS ANGELES — After relocating from Burning Man to Silverlake, two-person polycule Chadwin Parsley and Rosemary Sage noticed a vacancy in the urban camping market. […]
Saddam Hussein’s Uncovered Journal Entries Reveal Plan To Hide In Hedrick Hall Triple Before Opting For “More Comfortable And Spacious” Spider Hole
WESTWOOD – Released earlier today by the UCLA History Department, journal entries written by Saddam Hussein prior to his death reveal that the Iraqi dictator […]
Breaking: Every Bitch Is From The Bay Area
WESTWOOD — After a thorough examination of UCLA’s student population, it has been concluded that every bitch is from the Bay Area. “Every time I […]
Bomb Shelter Subway Whistleblowers Gone Missing
WESTWOOD — Several whistleblowers who spoke up about price gouging and moldy ingredients at the Bomb Shelter Subway have recently been reported missing. “For so […]
University Shuts Down Jewish Sukkot To Protect Jewish Students
WESTWOOD — This Monday evening, UCLA Administration once again reinforced their commitment to protecting Jewish community on campus by tearing down the sukkah that was […]
Idiot Slob Wears De Neve Outfit to BPlate
WESTWOOD — Giant, stupid, idiot slob and first-year European Studies major Bruce Gordito recently degraded himself and everyone around him by wearing an ugly, sloppy […]
Diversity Win! Woman In STEM Also Soulless
WESTWOOD — The UCLA Office of Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion’s recent review on gender disparities in STEM reached the conclusion that the women in STEM […]