Couple Perfect For Each Other Not Even Kind Of Okay For Anyone Else
LOS ANGELES — Local woman Lauren Collins and her boyfriend Jason Cho are reportedly “perfect for each other,” according to sources close to the pair […]
Google Maps Introduces “Avoid Wilshire” Route Option
LOS ANGELES—Google Maps introduced an update this week that allows drivers to opt for a route that avoids navigation through Wilshire Boulevard. “Originally, we tested […]
Professor Emails Syllabus To See Which Nerds Respond
WESTWOOD—Professor Alondra Ma emailed a copy of the syllabus to her chemistry students instead of presenting it in class so she could note which nerds […]
Student Unclear On How 20% Curved To B But They’re Rollin’ With It
WESTWOOD— First year student Steven Bork recently received the results for his first Physics midterm. Bork recalled “fighting back tears” and feeling as though he […]
White Girl Totally Gets Black Lives Matter, But Has Her Own Take On The Issue
MALIBU, CA—Local white girl Lindsey Clayton totally understands where Black Lives Matter, the movement protesting police brutality against African Americans, is coming from, but she […]
Perfect Date Includes Trip To Hammer Museum, Diddy Riese
WESTWOOD– Last Sunday, first year female Stacy Peters was overheard in BPlate discussing her recent date with Brian Andrews, who took her to both the […]
Box Of Condoms Already Collecting Dust
WESTWOOD—After being secretly stashed in the bottom drawer of first-year English student Marvin Reynold’s desk, a box of Trojan condoms is reported to already be […]
Waitress Saw You Touch Very Hot Plate
WESTWOOD—Waitress Brenda Garcia saw you look around and touch the plate she warned was very hot last night. “I see people go down the same […]
Value of Ty Dolla $ign Depreciates After Bruin Bash
WESTWOOD — Following mass circulation of Ty Dolla $igns several weeks ago, Federal Reserve Board Chair Janet Yellen noted a significant decline in the monetary […]
Julian Assange Gets A Timeout
LONDON—During this week’s U.S. Presidential Debate, Julian Assange, WikiLeaks editor-in-chief, was put on time out. “Assange has been a very naughty naughty boy these past […]