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Articles by Nathan Glovinsky

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About Nathan Glovinsky
Editor-In-Chief '19

White Man With Brown Hair Does Improv

May 20, 2019 Nathan Glovinsky 0

LOS ANGELES — Sources confirmed earlier last week that a local white man with brown hair does, in fact, perform improvisational comedy. “Yes and,” said […]

Area Man “Proficient” In Microsoft Excel

April 25, 2019 Nathan Glovinsky 0

WESTWOOD — In preparation for his summer internship search, area man Dimitri DiMarco convinced himself that he was more or less proficient enough in Microsoft […]

Manic Pixie Dream Girl Actually Just Manic

April 25, 2019 Nathan Glovinsky 0

SEATTLE — Finally seeing past her quirky sense of humor and oddly coordinated fashion sense, area man Carl Lapliner has come to the conclusion that area […]

Coachella Wristband Reveals God Amongst Men

April 23, 2019 Nathan Glovinsky 0

WESTWOOD — Last Monday evening, three wise men knocked on the door of Beta Theta Pi to share with third-year business economics student Jack Wagner, who […]

Barney’s Beanery Begins Weekly Mahjong Night

February 27, 2019 Nathan Glovinsky 0

WESTWOOD — Citing the success of recurring weekly events like “Karaoke Night” and “Trivia Night,” the management of Barney’s Beanery announced last Monday that the […]

Ninth Circle Of Hell Just Murphy Hall

February 5, 2019 Nathan Glovinsky 0

VATICAN CITY — At a recent papal summit, Pope Francis confirmed that Murphy Hall lies within the boundaries of Hell’s most treacherous and damning circle. “You might […]

Sunset Ruined By Lousy Stinkin’ Tree

January 18, 2019 Nathan Glovinsky 0

SAE’s Christmas Lights Almost Impressive Enough to Make You Forget About Those Sexual Assault Allegations

November 27, 2018 Nathan Glovinsky 0

WESTWOOD – In a dazzling display of holiday cheer, UCLA’s chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon (SAE) recently put up a Christmas decor ensemble that almost made […]

P: It Is Our Duty To Pick Up Fallen Bird Scooters / CP: No

November 4, 2018 Nathan Glovinsky 0

P: It Is Our Duty To Pick Up Fallen Bird Scooters By Edgar Montgomery Smith As residents of Westwood, it is our collective responsibility to […]

Roommate Cooks Pasta Again

November 4, 2018 Nathan Glovinsky 0

WESTWOOD — Returning home from a late evening class, third-year Biology major Ashley Barton is confirmed to have cooked pasta once again. “I like rigatoni,” […]

Posts pagination

1 2 … 6 »

  • Sad: UCLA 2025 Alum Still Roaming Campus

  • Top Five Father’s Day Gifts For A Dad Who Doesn’t Golf Or Grill Or Fish Or Camp Or Mow The Lawn

    Happy Father’s Day! Fortunately for you, your dad isn’t one of those basic losers who actually gets out of the house and does something on […]

  • Pros And Cons Of Texting Your Hometown Situationship Right Before Summer Vacation

    Summer is nigh. The end of finals is in sight, and unless you were lucky enough to get accepted into some fancy internship in Palo […]

  • Blue and yellow UCLA-themed vibrators at the Hilltop shop

    Anxious For Finals? Hilltop Shop Releases UCLA Vibrators

    WESTWOOD — In light of test-taking jitters, the Hilltop Shop has released UCLA-themed vibrators ahead of finals. “I really wanted to buy the Blue Bullet […]

  • Naked guy at the UCLA undie run

    Trend Watch: Going Commando At Undie Run

    Enough is enough. Every time the UV level is a 7, everybody and their mother is out getting sunburnt on Janss in a bikini top. […]

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