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Articles by Nathan Glovinsky

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About Nathan Glovinsky
Editor-In-Chief '19

White Man With Brown Hair Does Improv

May 20, 2019 Nathan Glovinsky 0

LOS ANGELES — Sources confirmed earlier last week that a local white man with brown hair does, in fact, perform improvisational comedy. “Yes and,” said […]

Area Man “Proficient” In Microsoft Excel

April 25, 2019 Nathan Glovinsky 0

WESTWOOD — In preparation for his summer internship search, area man Dimitri DiMarco convinced himself that he was more or less proficient enough in Microsoft […]

Manic Pixie Dream Girl Actually Just Manic

April 25, 2019 Nathan Glovinsky 0

SEATTLE — Finally seeing past her quirky sense of humor and oddly coordinated fashion sense, area man Carl Lapliner has come to the conclusion that area […]

Coachella Wristband Reveals God Amongst Men

April 23, 2019 Nathan Glovinsky 0

WESTWOOD — Last Monday evening, three wise men knocked on the door of Beta Theta Pi to share with third-year business economics student Jack Wagner, who […]

Barney’s Beanery Begins Weekly Mahjong Night

February 27, 2019 Nathan Glovinsky 0

WESTWOOD — Citing the success of recurring weekly events like “Karaoke Night” and “Trivia Night,” the management of Barney’s Beanery announced last Monday that the […]

Ninth Circle Of Hell Just Murphy Hall

February 5, 2019 Nathan Glovinsky 0

VATICAN CITY — At a recent papal summit, Pope Francis confirmed that Murphy Hall lies within the boundaries of Hell’s most treacherous and damning circle. “You might […]

Sunset Ruined By Lousy Stinkin’ Tree

January 18, 2019 Nathan Glovinsky 0

SAE’s Christmas Lights Almost Impressive Enough to Make You Forget About Those Sexual Assault Allegations

November 27, 2018 Nathan Glovinsky 0

WESTWOOD – In a dazzling display of holiday cheer, UCLA’s chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon (SAE) recently put up a Christmas decor ensemble that almost made […]

P: It Is Our Duty To Pick Up Fallen Bird Scooters / CP: No

November 4, 2018 Nathan Glovinsky 0

P: It Is Our Duty To Pick Up Fallen Bird Scooters By Edgar Montgomery Smith As residents of Westwood, it is our collective responsibility to […]

Roommate Cooks Pasta Again

November 4, 2018 Nathan Glovinsky 0

WESTWOOD — Returning home from a late evening class, third-year Biology major Ashley Barton is confirmed to have cooked pasta once again. “I like rigatoni,” […]

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