Promising Economics Student Sadly Drops Out of UCLA
WESTWOOD — On Wednesday, the UCLA community was saddened when prominent economics student Joshua Rosen decided to take leave from the university. “We wish Mr. […]
Roy Moore to Write Explosive Tell-All Book on Election
MOBILE, AL — In the wake of Alabama’s special election, the unsuccessful Republican candidate Roy Moore announced he will be releasing an incendiary tell-all book […]
Bruin Democrats Add Santa Claus To List Of White Supremacists
WESTWOOD — In a club meeting this week, Bruin Democrats at UCLA unanimously agreed to add another name to their list of white supremacists: Santa […]
Strange Feeling Inside America’s Gut Diagnosed as Hope
BIRMINGHAM, AL — After seeing Democratic candidate Doug Jones defeat Republican Roy Moore in the Alabama senate special election today, the nation was diagnosed with […]
Things To Do Instead Of Studying For Finals
Finals week can be a real drag. Here are some fun things to do instead of studying! #1 – Complain about studying for finals #2 […]
UCLA Mascot Changed From Bruin To Smokey The Bear
WESTWOOD – In light of the Skirball Fire threatening the UCLA campus, Smokey the Bear has been declared the school’s mascot. “Only you can prevent […]
Ex-Boyfriend Just Checking In
WESTWOOD — Settling any rumors that either party still harbors feelings post-breakup, your ex-boyfriend is “just checking in” to let you know he has definitely […]
Girl Who Didn’t Drink In High School Really Downing That Prestige
WESTWOOD — Upon the declaration that first-year political science student Kelsey Reinhart “didn’t drink in high school,” reporters observed Reinhart at a recent party going […]
Sociologists Suggest UCLA May Be Part Of Larger University System
WESTWOOD — Noting several similarities with other colleges in California, UCLA sociologists studying American institutions of higher education suggested on Wednesday that the Los Angeles-based […]
Point: Gazing Off My Balcony Reminds Me This Is My Time / Counterpoint: Can You See Me Smoking My Bong From The Street?
Point: Gazing Off My Balcony Reminds Me This Is My Time By: Claudia DeMonet There’s nothing that makes me feel more alive than watching the […]