Area Douche Thinks Multi-Factor Authentication “Not That Bad, Man”
WESTWOOD — It has come out that area douche Michael Marks thinks that UCLA’s new multi-factor authentication is “not that bad, man”. “All you have to […]
“My Patronus Is A Lion” Says Woman Who Doesn’t Know Her Social Security Number
DOVER, NJ — Area woman Karen Schindler informed multiple people today that her patronus was a lion, despite being unable to recall her social security […]
Mom On Tour Thinks Royce Hall Looks Nice
WESTWOOD — Sources report that a mom taking a tour of UCLA thinks Royce Hall is nice. “It’s really a very nice place,” said the […]
Covel Voted Most Okayest Dining Hall
WESTWOOD — UCLA Dining reported this week that in a comprehensive poll of UCLA residents, students voted Covel the “most okayest” dining hall. “I don’t […]
This Class Actually Super Easy, Asshole Reports
WESTWOOD — Local asshole Kyle Logan reported this week that his Math 33A class is, in fact, “super easy.” “Honestly I don’t even try at all and […]
Westwood Gets Another Pizza Place, For Some Reason
WESTWOOD — Westwood residents were not that excited last week when a new pizza place, KONY Pizzeria, opened up around the corner from the FOX […]
BREAKING: We Have The Meats
FLAVORTOWN, USA—Sources, those sources being your mother #$&%@$@ tastebuds, man, report that fast food chain and purveyor of carnivorous atrocities Arby’s does, in fact, […]
Area Man Would Have Gotten Away With It If It Weren’t For Those Meddling Kids
CARNIVAL ISLAND — Caught adding poisonous gas to the air purifier systems on Carnival Island in an attempt to simulate an epidemic, area man Joseph […]
Dog Cute But Also Major Step Back For Evolution
ORANGE COUNTY, CA — Sources report that area woman Fatima Gulzar was recently hit by the realization that her dog, Bailey, was cute but also […]
Point: Therapy Has Been So Good For Me / Counterpoint: I’m In Love With My Therapist.
Point: Therapy Has Been So Good For Me. By: Hannah Stein So I finally made the leap and sought out a therapist for myself. They […]