Student-Athletes Spotted Sleeping, Showering In UCLA-Branded Backpacks
WESTWOOD — Reports of student-athletes never taking off their black UCLA backpacks have been on the rise as campus has returned to in-person instruction. “No […]
Sports
Almost Getting Trampled, And Other UCLA Student Activities You Must Do Before Graduating
With a hustlin’ and bustlin’ campus filled with over 30,000 undergraduate students, it can be hard to keep track of all UCLA has to offer, […]
Opinion: Dear UCLA Women’s Volleyball Team, Please Bully Me
WESTWOOD — An Open Letter to the Volleyball Team It all started when I saw you destroy the Washington Huskies last Sunday. Zoe Fleck, you […]
“I Do My Own Research,” Says Aaron Rodgers On Why He Never Wins In Playoffs
GREEN BAY — Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers expressed in a recent interview that, similar to his stances on masks and the COVID-19 vaccines, he also […]
Tom Brady Does Football Good
TAMPA, FL — After emerging victorious in this year’s Super Bowl, it has become apparent to the sports world that Tom Brady does football really […]
NFL Plans To Quarantine COVID Positive Players In Team Facilities
NEW YORK — In a statement on Monday, National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell announced new COVID-19 protocols in the aftermath of increased coronavirus cases […]
Op-Ed: As A Student Athlete, I Only Break Quarantine To Slap My Friend’s Ass
I am a proud member of the UCLA basketball team, and I respect that COVID-19 is a serious threat to the community. I would never […]
BREAKING: Friend Wants To Go Camping
SAN LUIS OBISPO, CA — At 8:36 am PST, Scottie Macadamia compiled a group chat with his peers proposing a weekend trip that will never […]
Huge Football Player Somehow Makes Kids’ Razor Scooter Work
CERRITOS, CA — Physicists have taken to the Razor Scooter headquarters in Cerritos, California earlier this week in an attempt to study the engineering genius […]
Introducing Murry Bartow: Interim Men’s Basketball Head Coach
WESTWOOD — After firing Steve Alford earlier this year following a particularly ugly start to the season for the Bruins’ men’s basketball team, the school […]