UCLA’S Top Five Sexually Eligible Statues
5. John Wooden It’s no surprise that a man whose first and last names both mean penis is coming in hot on this list. John […]
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Top Five Goonable Robots
Robots. One of the greatest and most attractive inventions ever thought up. They can help you with chores, they have superhuman strength, and best of […]
4 Things I Refuse To Apologize For After Being Held Hostage By The Pirates Of The Caribbean Animatronics For 93 Days
At first, I was ashamed. I was mortified. For years and years I hid in the shadows. I felt… embarrassed. I was embarrassed by all […]
Mysogyny And For Other Words I Don’t Know How To Spell
Its finals weak. I have to right tree different essays butt oh no I’m bad at spelling! I’m not gonna use spellcheck because the machine’s […]
Top Five Books That Could’ve Been An Email
To Whom It May Concern, In today’s world, clear and concise communication is more important than ever. Electronic messaging has revolutionized almost every aspect of […]
Throwing Up In Class And Four Other Trends That Have Majorly Fallen Off
Reminiscing on trends that used to be all the rage but haven’t gotten a lot of attention lately? The Westwood Enabler has you covered. These […]
What Your Backpack Says About You, Including When And Where You Enjoy Your Last Breath
A student’s choice of backpack arguably decides the path they take for the rest of their miserable life. What you pick to stow your laptop […]
5 Reasons Your Door Lock Is Always Mad At You
Every day you come home and your door lock just refuses to tell you what it’s upset about this time. Juggling the day’s groceries in […]
“SHE’S FINE!” And 3 More Things To Yell At Bystanders While Your Bestie Barfs In A Planter
It’s Thirsty Thursday and your bestie’s thirst has been more than sufficiently quenched by Tito’s and lukewarm vending machine Diet Starry. Her face is buried […]
Best Ways To Stay Cool And Mysterious After Tripping Over An Electric Scooter
WESTWOOD — We’ve all been there, strutting down the sidewalk, listening to Radiohead and scowling occasionally so that people know you’ve got a dark secret, […]