WESTWOOD — Last Sunday, second-year Microbiology, Immunology, and Molecular Genetics major Calvin Dozer revealed that his Step-Step-Grandpappy just died, making this the twelfth grandparent dead this quarter. “another one j died,” read Dozer’s email, sent to his Math 32A professor the night before his 8 AM discussion. “after g-money and poopee too…shit sux like we saw him twice a decade at least 🙁 Sent from my iPhone” At press time, Dozer was travelling to Cabo for yet another destination funeral.