UCLA Depression Grand Challenge Getting A Little Competitive
WESTWOOD — After seeing a banner for UCLA’s Depression Grand Challenge, third year computer science major Michael Hodgekiss has made it his goal to win […]
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No Progress Made To UCLA Internet After Invention Of Internet
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Freshman Admit Has Highest SAT Score In Orientation Group
WESTWOOD — Derek Bowman, an incoming UCLA first year, excitedly announced that after sneaking peeks at his fellow admits’ class planners, he discovered he had […]
BREAKING: Gene Block Spotted At Rocco’s
WESTWOOD — Esteemed UCLA Chancellor Gene D. Block was spotted at popular Westwood bar Rocco’s this past Thursday night, imbibing and dancing among the Bruin community […]
Sepi’s Files Counterproposal To Evict Steve Sann
WESTWOOD — Following efforts by the Westwood Community Council to pressure Sepi’s into leaving Westwood, the local bar and restaurant filed a counterproposal to evict […]
BREAKING: UCLA Entrepreneur Bought Stocks
WESTWOOD — Second-year business economics major Kevin Fisher was just reported to have “moved his assets” from his savings account into stocks. “I thought Kevin […]
Public Affairs Professor’s Mistresses Make Affairs Public
WESTWOOD — Last week, adjunct Public Affairs professor Nathan Bradley was surprised mid-lecture when his mistresses stormed into the hall and publicly announced his many […]
Op-Ed: If I Wear Jeans, You Must Call Me Jeans Block
To the Campus Community: On Monday morning, I substituted my normal chancellorial slacks for a pair of comfortable, stylish, denim jeans. Yet for the entire […]
Ninth Circle Of Hell Just Murphy Hall
VATICAN CITY — At a recent papal summit, Pope Francis confirmed that Murphy Hall lies within the boundaries of Hell’s most treacherous and damning circle. “You might […]
